


The Star

by yourfriendlychoom



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/M, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Romance, The Star Ending (Cyberpunk 2077), Tragedy, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 40,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourfriendlychoom/pseuds/yourfriendlychoom
Summary: This follows  Male V and Panam (romanced) after leaving NC in the Star ending. It picks up a few weeks after they leave, with V's condition  worsening.  Both V and Panam are having trouble dealing with his deteriorating condition, but the nomads have a plan to help.I have tried to write true to the tone of the game as well as incorporate 2077's unique language style.  I've also tried to maintain that bittersweet feeling that is part of the cyberpunk genre, as well as expand on advanced cyberpunk concepts either not seen in the game or not explored fully. It also explores Panam and V's emotional connection, I really liked how they interacted in the game. Thanks for reading!Completed 2/9/2021
Relationships: Panam Palmer & Male V, Panam Palmer / Male V, Panam Palmer/Male V, Panam Palmer/V
Comments: 59
Kudos: 131





	1. The Star - Chapter 1

"Goodbye V, and never stop fighting". The last words Johnny ever said to him echoed in his head every time he woke up from one of his nightmares, especially when he looked over at River's revolver on the table and thought about how he could make this easier for everyone. Then he looked over at Panam, asleep next to him, and thought what that would do to her, what it would do to the clan. Shit, how would River feel if he knew what V had used his revolver for? Night City was far, but word got around. No, he had too many people now to take that way out. He felt the wet warmth from his nose, and realized he was bleeding again. Fuck. This was the third time this week. He quickly sat up and turned away from her, he knew seeing him like this would just upset her. 

His attacks, or whatever they were, were getting more frequent now. They had been out of Night City for a few weeks, and he was running low on Vic's meds so he had to start skipping doses. He wasn't even sure if these were his nightmares or something left over from Johnny, or even Mikoshi. Shit, didn't even really remember them, all he knew was he woke up most nights sweat soaked and terrified. Lately he'd been having these nosebleeds too. There were a couple of real bad episodes too, he'd been out for hours. Nobody knew he was running low on his meds, he knew it would just worry everyone if they found out. Getting out of Night City had felt like a breath of fresh air, but he sure could use a visit to Vic about now. That and some Mac N' Cheezus. 

At least no one else saw him this time. He both loved and hated the look of concern on Panam's face whenever he came to after blacking out. It was nice to have a family again, but he was putting them through so much, and for what? A few more months, maybe weeks at this rate? It was getting bad, and faster than he thought it would. He hoped he could keep it together for the meet Mitch had set up. It was hard to intimidate scavs when you blacked out in the middle of the meet. They were about halfway between Night City and Phoenix, in the middle of the Arizona desert. Mitch had set up some kind of deal tomorrow. With some luck., they'd be in Phoenix in a week or two, and they had some promising leads to get his gonk brain straightened out. Carol had already been in contact with Snake Nation and had gotten a hold of some people at StormTech through them. Mitch had some old war buddies in Phoenix too, and they had some ins with Biotechnica. Nothing preem, but better than nothing. He hoped to make it that long. 

He felt Panam sit up next to him. "V – what are you doing up? It's early, we don't have to head out for a…" She trailed off, and her eyes went wide. "Fuck, V, were you just going to sit there covered in blood? Why did you not wake me?" 

"Didn't want to wake you up just to worry you". 

"V, don't bullshit me. When I said I would be there for you through thick and thin, I meant it. You are one of us now, and you are with me, so I do not care what time it is. If you wake up covered in blood, fuck it, get me up. Shit, I can not believe I have to even tell you that. What if you would have had a bad one again? I don't even know what I would do if I woke up and found you…" Her voice broke and she trailed off. Her eyes were glassy, just a hint of tears. 

"Panam"… This is what he was afraid of. He hated seeing her like this, it made him almost lose it too. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve her, but she sure as fuck didn't deserve this. Nobody did. "I… I'm fuckin scared" he said, his voice breaking a little. "It's gettin' worse. I just…, I'm sorry. Sorry to do this to you. To everyone." 

Her eyes narrowed, and her voice came back strong. 

"Do what to us? Fuck V – how can we get this through your gonk brain? That jacket - " She gestured to the one Saul had given him the night before the raid. "That makes you family. Remember when Saul told you one day you would know what wearing that jacket meant? You need to remember that. If we hadn't raided Arasaka, we'd still be fighting the Raffen for scraps outside Night City. But now, we are stronger than we have ever been. Shit we have a fucking TANK, and all kinds of crazy Araska tech that Carol and Dakota are just starting to figure out. And we got it all because all of us decided to go on that raid. Together. Everyone that went knew the risks. And we would have never gone if you hadn't shown up. You got me and Saul seeing eye to eye, and we thought that was impossible." Her eyes met his, and her expression softened. "Fuck V. Just let us help you." 

"I'm just…". He didn't know what to say. The Bakkers were family sure, but not like this. Politics tore that family apart. 

"Just what?' She started to raise her voice again, and then stopped when she saw his face. "Sorry" she said. She handed him a towel. "Get yourself cleaned up and come back to bed. We have a big day tomorrow." 

V cleaned the blood from his face in the sink, and laid back down in the bed, but his mind was racing out of control. He turned away from her, counting the stitches in the tent seam next to him absentmindedly. 

"V?" – he heard her say. She was still sitting up. 

“Yeah?” 

"We know you have not been taking your meds. Don't worry, Mitch and I are working something out." She laid down and turned over towards him. She put her arms around him tightly, and he could feel her breath on the back of his neck. Finally, he relaxed. 

"Please trust me when I say we are in this together". She said, and hugged him tightly, Finally, he drifted off, but there were no nightmares this time. 


	2. The Star - Chapter 2

He woke up some time later, mid-morning maybe. Fuck, it was hard it was hard to keep track of time out here. Panam was gone, but he heard her off in the distance talking with someone, maybe Dakota. The tent door was open, and he could see Mitch was sitting in the mess trailer. He threw on his jacket and headed towards Mitch. He was happier here that he had ever been in Night City or even with the Bakkers, but now he knew what Panam meant when she said she'd miss the food on that last drive out of Night City. Whatever Mitch was eating didn't look great. 

"Rough night?" Mitch asked, pointing to V's shirt. He looked down and realized the shirt was still stained with blood. 

"Guess so" he answered. 

Mitch continued, "Don't worry bud, we are gonna get you fixed the fuck up good. We cut a deal in exchange for some of that 'saka tech we stole. That shit's worth more than gold, and we got enough of it to last a long time. You good to ride today? This is a meet we are gonna need you at." 

"Yeah, I'm good." V answered. "Whats for breakfast?" 

"Your favorite – protein porridge-" Mitch said laughing. He gestured to the cook, and she brought a bowl over to V. He dug in with his spoon. The taste of this shit almost made him almost throw up every time he had it. At least it was warm this time, it was even worse cold. He watched Mitch finish one bowl and then get started on a second. 

"Mitch" he said between bites. 

"Yeah?". Mitch looked up. 

"How do you fuckin' deal with this food every day? Did you get used to it or what? Never had to eat like this with the Bakkers" 

"The Bakkers weren't in the middle of fucking Arizona". Mitch said, taking another huge bite, he must have seen the disgust on V's face this time. "Can't taste anything since the war" Mitch said laughing. "I'm breaking your balls, we got you something special today. He gestured to the cook again, and she brought out a plate of what looked like locust sausage and a couple of beers. 

"Shit is that what I think it is?" V said. He hadn't had real food in weeks. 

"Fuck yea" answered Mitch. Figured you could use a good meal. Panam said you been in the shit the last few days". 

"Thanks. S' good to be here." V said cracking open a beer. Mitch nodded and cracked open his beer. They both turned around and looked out over the camp. He felt Mitch's hand on his shoulder. 

"Head over when you are done with that, we gotta go over the plan". Mitch headed over towards Panam and Dakota, beer in his hand. 

V spun back around on his stool, and slowly ate the locust sausage, savoring every bite. Shit he never realized how good it was. A lot of friendly faces were looking over at him, and he got a few friendly waves which he returned. He had gone to Night City to become a legend but had always felt like he was missing something. ever since Jackie died. They were fuckin chooms till the end. He never thought he'd find that again. Jackie would have fit right in here in camp, drinking beers, racing, shooting cans, doing fuck all. He still got the occasional holo call from Vik or Misty, shit even got one from Kerry when he was someplace in Europe. Hopefully they were all doing well, but that life was behind him now. Looking at his jacket, he thought about Saul's speech again. Fuck. The Bakkers sure as shit weren't like this. 

V finished the last bite of sausage, washed it down with a beer, and headed over to the command truck. Mitch, Panam, and a few nomads he didn't know were around the table. 

"Hey there V. How was breakfast? Did you like our surprise?" Panam asked. 

"Preem". He answered. "How'd you get that all the way out here?" 

"Trust me when I say the Aldecaldos have connections" she said with a half-smile, he returned one of his own. 

Mitch clapped his hands, but he was smiling at both of them. "Ok guys, we gotta focus. V – we know you are runnin low on your meds. There's a ripper about a day's ride from here. He's fuckin good too, probably the best in this part of the badlands." 

"Who is it?" V asked. 

"Sebastian Ortega" answered Mitch and Panam at the same time. "Why do you care?" continued Mitch. 

"No reason figured maybe I'd heard of him". That name did sound familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. Maybe he had heard it in the Afterlife, or even with the Bakkers. 

Mitch and Panam looked surprised. "Have you?" they asked in unison again. 

"No, I don't think so". He looked at the table again. "So, detes?" 

Mitch motioned for Dakota and a few other nomads to head over to the table. He continued "Ok so this rippers good, but nobody really knows anything about his crew. We've heard his gang's anything from robots to ex maelstrom to fuckin' voodoo boys. As you can imagine tech's hard to get out here, and he needs what we're sellin. So he's got some meds that will fix you up good, and we trade him some 'saka tech he needs to keep doing what he's doin. Got it?" 

V shrugged. "Sounds too easy. I don't like it" 

Dakota spoke up. "Nothin gets past you. He's smack dab in the middle of Raffen county. No idea how he's still alive and workin." 

"Either the Raffen are scared of him…" V trailed off. 

"Or he's cuttin deals with them to rob suckers like us" Dakota finished his sentence and everyone around the table nodded. 

"Now we got us a few things workin in our favor." Mitch continued. "We modded the basilisk more, made it faster for gettin around out here in the desert. We added some firepower to Panam's truck too, that turret's souped up with some of the 'saka weapons we klepped. Could probably take out one of those Kang Tao AVs by itself now. And we got a couple of Quadros with turrets too. But if Ortega has robots or who fuckin knows what, we gotta be careful." 

Panam took over. "One thing we are lacking is a good netrunner. There's Carol, but we need her here in case something happens. That is where you come in V. We need to you to ride in the basilisk with Mitch and take care of any raffen deckheads. Mitch can handle the tank solo if he has to. Dakota and I will handle the truck. We have some ICE but if they hack that basilisk or my truck we are finished. Can you handle it?” 

"We … aren't riding together?" V asked Panam. They always rode together, well ever since Night City. 

"Sorry V, this mission is dangerous, and nobody can handle this new turret as well as me. Besides, Mitch is a better tank pilot, and Dakota is the best driver we have." 

He nodded. She was right, but he still hated the thought of having her unprotected in her truck instead of in the basilisk. She had gotten lucky with the first ricochet when they took down that Kang Tao AV back in Night City. Fuck. He put the thought out of his mind, though, they had a job to do. He couldn't believe they were driving into Raffen country for him. At least it wasn't Arasaka tower this time. 

"V" he heard Mitch say. 

"Yeah Mitch?" 

"Keep your fuckin' pants on in the basilisk. No funny stuff". Mitch said, with a huge shit eatin' grin on his face. Everyone around the table cracked a smile, and a few spit out their beers. His eyes met Panam's, and then they started laughing too. Fuckin' gonks. It was good to be back with family though. He hadn't laughed like this since Jackie. 


	3. The Star - Chapter 3

The vehicles were parked just outside of camp. Dakota pulled up in Panam's truck, and a couple of nomads were gunning the engines in their quadros. He met Panam just outside her truck. She pulled him close and gave him a quick kiss before getting in the truck. "We will stop in a few hours to eat." She said. "See you then". He nodded and hopped into the basilisk, Mitch was already inside.  
  
"Ready?" asked Mitch. He was adjusting a series of switches inside the tank. "Lets delta" V replied. They both jacked into the basilisk and headed out of camp. He could see the quadros in the lead, and Panam and Dakota to his left. He leaned back into the tank's chair.  
  
"You wanna talk or just ride?" asked Mitch.  
  
"Lets just ride"  
  
"You got it. I can handle the tank on autopilot if you wanna get some rest. Panam filled me in on what happened last night. You must be beat."  
  
"Thanks Mitch". He jacked out of the tank and nodded off.


	4. The Star - Chapter 4

"WAKE THE FUCK UP V". 

He heard Mitch yell. Fuck, were they under attack? Raffen, robots, fucking what? 

"Time for lunch." Mitch said with a smile. "You were fucking gonked out. Had to yell to get you up" Mitch hopped out of the tank, and he followed. The nomads were all in a circle around a fire, and around they had made a rough circle with their vehicles. 

"Hey V. How was the ride?" Panam asked. 

"Kid did good" chimed in Mitch. 

V could tell Mitch didn't want Panam to know about his little nap, and he was ok with that. No reason to worry her. He grabbed a bowl of protein porridge and sat down next to Panam. 

"I think that's Raffen on the horizon" Panam pointed east, and sure enough there was what looked like several cars and trailers, and they could make out the tiny dots of campfires in among them. "Let's finish up and head out". He choked down the last of his lunch and hopped in the basilisk. 

"Ok, you rested and ready to roll?" Mitch asked. 

"Preem" 

"Alright, buckle up". V could hear the engines of the quadros, and the roar of Panam's truck, even inside the basilisk. Wouldn't be long now till the Raffen spotted them, if they hadn't already. He double checked his connection to the basilisk main cannon; Mitch was on artillery. Were the Raffen out here as bloodthirsty as the ones around Night City? Guess he was going to find out. He scanned the camp with the basilisk's viewfinder, looking for the telltale dust clouds of pursuing vehicles. 

"They are not pursuing" he heard Panam yell over comms. She sounded relieved. "Only a few hours to the ripper now". "V we are going to make it!" 

An explosion rocked the dust next to him. His stomach sank, and he frantically waited for the dust to clear. It looked like their caravan was intact. Guess these Raffen were the same as all the others. Fuck. He still didn't see any dust clouds or any pursuing vehicles. What the fuck was that explosion? No fucking way these gonks had cloaking tech, right? He flipped on the thermal vision and scanned the entire horizon. Still nothing. What the fuck? 

"Look up V!". Dakota's voice came in over comms. He could hear Panam swearing in the background. 

There was a fucking AV right above them, painted in wraith graffiti. It had a huge cannon mounted on one side, that thing was sure as fuck not factory issue. The cannon fired again, and another explosion shook the basilisk. This is why he didn't see any dust clouds on the ground when they passed the Raffen camp. Fuck. 

"I guess we get to test that turret out sooner than we thought" Mitch yelled into comms. 

He saw Panam's truck veer hard left, and lost track of it. The AV didn't change course. He saw the cannon fire again, and the entire tank shook. This time it was a direct hit on the basilisk. A few alarms went off, but Mitch didn't look worried. 

"Armors holding" Mitch said. "But we can't take too many of those" Mitch was looking out the viewfinder at the AV now. "Come on girl, where are you?" 

BOOOM! The tank shook violently. Now a lot of alarms were going off in the basilisk, and Mitch looked concerned. 

"Hold on tight V!. We gotta take that thing out or we're flatlined" Mitch yelled into the tank. "See if you can get a shot". He was pulled sideways as Mitch cut hard left with the tank, and he spun the main cannon around. 

He tried to get the basilisk's main cannon on the AV, but it was too high for the gun to hit. Fuck. He was considering hopping out of the hatch and taking shots at the AV with River's gun, but just then the AV lurched to one side and a huge hole appeared where the word 'WRAITH' used to be. A couple of seconds later, more holes appeared, and the AV started smoking, and he saw it losing altitude. He trained the main cannon on it now and fired. The AV exploded in a shower of metal and fire. 

"Zeroed those fucks good" Panam said excitedly. "Nice shooting V". 

"You too" 

Mitch nodded at him. "Good work V. Don't see anything else, I think we scared em good. I bet they think twice before trying shit like that again." 

"Looks all clear" he heard Panam on comms. "Just a few hours to the ripper, and I do not see anything on the horizon." 

Mitch told war stories for the next few hours. Him and Scorpion had sure seen some shit. V thought they made Night City look tame. No wonder Mitch never got flustered. The sun started to set. Sunsets out here were beautiful, he hopped out of the hatch to take it all in. The way the dust caught the light and made the entire horizon reddish orange was something. Sure as fuck didn't get that back in NC. 

He looked over at Panam's truck and saw she was watching him watch the sunset with a smile on her face. 

"You miss this?" She yelled into the wind. 

"More than I ever thought I would" He yelled back. It was the truth. He was never meant for city life. 

Her smile widened. She was pointing up ahead now. He turned to look. 

V saw what looked like an abandoned town on the horizon. A few shacks, and a huge warehouse. Nothing looked new or up to date though. The best ripper in the badlands lived here? What the fuck? 

"Getting close". One of the Quadros came in over the radio. 

"We'll check it out". The other one chimed in. He heard both engines rev up and then fade as the Quadros disappeared towards the horizon. 

"How'd you find this guy?" V asked Mitch. 

"Mutual connections. Good rippers 'r hard to come by out here. Don't worry, we did our homework. This guy has a lot of nomads vouching for him, he's gotten our people out of some real shit. Must be good if he can survive out here this long." 

V nodded. "Yeah, guess so". 

The roar of the Quadros came through the basilisk again. That was quick. These guys sure could move around the desert. One of them came in over comms. "Nothing. Looks deserted. Sure this is the place?" 

Dakota's voice. "This is it. Should be a big warehouse." 

The Quadro again. "Yeah, its empty. There are bodies. Fresh, maybe a day or two old. Gettin' dark though, couldn't see much. Maybe Raffen finally got him?" 

Panam on the holo this time "Fuck V. Let us go check it out anyways. We came all this way. Maybe we can find something." He could hear the sadness and disappointment in her voice, almost like she didn't believe what she was saying. Shit. Is this what he was in for, for the next few months? Hope followed by disappointment? Disappointment he was used to, but the hope made it so much worse. He looked at River's gun again. Have to see how bad it gets without meds. Johnny'd understand. He'd given it a good shot, but at this rate he wouldn't even get to Phoenix, or if he did, he wouldn't know where he was. Guess Alt's 6-month estimate was on the high side. 

He heard Mitch on the radio "We can't get back tonight. We got firepower, but we don't want to cross Raffen country in the dark. We scared em good, but if they had that AV who knows what they are packin'. Better sleep in the cars in case they show up and we gotta delta". 

They pulled into the town. Mitch headed into the warehouse but came back quick. "Took a quick look but can't see shit in the dark. Lotta bodies though. Blood and chrome everywhere. Cars too, around back. Must have been quite the operation. Cryin' shame." 

The nomads formed a circle with the vehicles again, near the ruined warehouse. It was pitch black except for the starlight. No fire this time - Panam didn't want to attract any attention. They sat in a circle in the dark, eating their porridge in silence. The mood was glum, disappointment thick was in the air. He scooched over next to Panam. 

"It was a good plan". He put his arm around her. "Thanks for tryin'. Maybe we'll find something tomorrow." 

"V…" Her voice cracked. She set her bowl down and buried her head in his shoulder. "I just..." 

Fuck. He'd never seen her this bad. Not even when Saul got zeroed by Smasher. 

"I just need you with me. I do not know what I would do without you. There has to be some way!" Her voice broke on that last sentence. He felt himself start to lose control too, his eyes were stinging. 

"Panam…"He put his other arm around her in a full hug. The other nomads stared down at their bowls not saying anything. He put the thought of River's gun out of his head for good, he decided it was a moment of weakness. If he was going to check out, at least he'd be among family till the end. Better than alone in the gutter in Night City. He'd just kind of assumed that was how he'd end up. 

She was sobbing loudly into his shoulder now. V looked around and he could see everyone's eyes were full of tears in the starlight, even the nomads he didn't know. Fuck, he had never seen Mitch show any emotions at all. Is this what Saul meant when he said they were family? It had been so long since anyone cared about him like this. Even a gonk like him knew this kind of family was rarer than real meat in Night City. His own vision blurred and stung with tears, and he lost it too. They held each other in silence for a while, both weeping quietly, not looking at each other. No one spoke for a long time. 

"I need some space" Panam said suddenly and ran over to the basilisk. 

"I…" but he couldn't think of anything to say. 

"S'ok." Dakota spoke up. "Give her a minute. You know how she is. We got other leads V, don't worry. They can't all work out." 

"Yeah, I know". 

Mitch spoke up. "We still might find something in the mornin'. Maybe the Raffen didn't know what they got into." 

V nodded, and they sat in silence awhile longer, looking at the stars. 

Mitch broke the silence finally "You better go see how she's doin V." 

He nodded, headed over to the basilisk, and found her sitting on the roof, looking at the sky. She looked over at him, tears still in her eyes. 

"Remember that first night under the stars, when we stole this thing?" She pointed at the tank and wiped her eyes. "I thought we were going to be unstoppable. If you had told me then where we would be now, I would have thought you were crazy" She looked at the sky. "Can you still find Ursa Major?" 

He pointed up. "Sure as shit. Looks like its leaking again". 

She smiled through the tears. "Come sit with me?" 

He hopped on the basilisk, slid over and put an arm around her. She turned and looked at the horizon. 

"When did you know?" She asked, turning and looking him in the eye. 

"Know what?" He didn't know what she was talking about. 

"Know we'd end up here. Together." 

"Fuck… Panam. I…" Now it was his turn to look out at the horizon. 

"V... come on, this is important. I'm trying to have a fucking moment here with you". She said and gave him a little punch. 

"After our first ride in this thing" He slapped the tank. 

"V". She looked confused. "Can you fucking be serious?" 

"I am." He started, but after seeing the puzzled look on her face, he clarified "No, not what happened in the tank. It was after we got back to camp, and I told you about everything. Johnny, how I was scared, dyin'. And you didn't question anything I said. - you told me not to worry, said you'd figure it out, we'd find a way out of this. Never had anybody give a shit about me like that, not even Jackie. Never thought anyone would. That's when I knew… at least I think so." 

Their eyes met, and hers were full of tears again, "We WILL figure your head out". Her voice was shaky but didn't break. 

He could feel his own tears welling up now, he desperately wanted what she said to be true. Fuck. Why did everything always have to be so hard? 

"V" she said. 

"Yeah?" 

"Can we just stay here all night?" 

"Sure can" he said, reaching into the basilisk and grabbing a thermal blanket and a couple pillows. They looked up at the stars for a long time in silence. She laid her head on his chest, and after a while he felt her relax as she fell asleep. He looked back over at the camp, and down at her. This was preem. He finally felt some peace, this was better than the view from the top of Arasaka tower. He felt a warm sensation in his chest, he almost didn't recognize it, it had been so long. Was that – hope again? Real hope? Fuck. 


	5. The Star - Chapter 5

He opened his eyes. Shit, he didn't remember the last time he slept that well, no nightmares, nothing. Maybe the desert air was good for him, or maybe it was the company. Panam was still on his chest, but he could feel her starting to stir. The sun was just coming up over the horizon. Fuck, he'd forgotten about the sunrises out here. He had been sleeping so poorly he'd missed them all so far. Now the entire horizon was reddish orange, with bands of pink and purple. Fuckin' preem alright. All the neons in Night City couldn't do that.

"You up?" He heard her ask.

"Mmhmm" he answered, his voice still raspy from sleep.

"You seeing this?" She was looking at the sunrise now too.

"Second most beautiful thing I've ever seen" He said with a smile.

"What is the first…?" Then it dawned on her. "V you fucking sweet talker! Cut that out."

"Does it work?"

"You know it fucking works. Too well." She leaned up and gave him a kiss. They sat there for awhile, her head on his chest, watching the sunrise.

"When did you know?" He asked her.

"What?.." She looked puzzled "Oh.. last night." She looked up at him, back at the sunrise, and then sat up.

He sat up as well. "I told you… Gotta tell me now".

"I fucking know you gonk". She yelled, but then her face softened "Sorry, just trying to find the words." She turned to face him, looked him right in the eyes, her gaze was firm. "That night in the cabin after we saved Saul from the Raffen. I think that is when I really knew. I was getting chewed up by Night City, double crossed by everyone I met, and then I met you. You stuck your neck out for Saul, for me, for the family. For free. In Night City, where nothing comes free. I do not… think we would have survived if we would not have gotten him back. Me or the family. V… I would probably be solo in NC, struggling to pay rent if not for you. Or dead in some parking lot. You reminded me how important family is. That there are still good people in the world. That this is where I belong". She pointed at the sky, it was full of color now. "I think Saul saw it too, that night. What was happening between us. Shit maybe he knew before either of us. I think he even tried to encourage it"

V smiled. "He did leave us alone on that couch, in that beautiful Independent California Motel."

She looked confused. "Independent California Motel?. What the fuck… How did you come up with that?"

"Fuckin' Johnny. That was his name for the little shack we were in. I think he knew too. What was happenin' with us, he tried to encourage it. Johnny was an asshole sometimes but he looked out for me. He liked you too you know. Told me I shoulda' gone after you the morning after we stayed in that cabin, right after we saved Saul. Said it right after that kiss. Shit, that first time you kissed me, that scrambled my brain more than Johnny, or Dex's fuckin' bullet.

She smiled. "You sweet talking me again?"

"Nah, That's how it was. Didn't know what to do. Especially after you turned me down the night before. Here I was dyin', but I wanted to go after you too. Couldn't though, Johnny and I had important shit to do."

She smiled. "I wondered why you did not follow me." Her face turned serious, and he felt her grip his shoulder. "V… I just… had to be sure, really sure. Just… So many people had taken advantage of me. I just.. wanted to take it slow. I liked you, really liked you, but I just…was not ready. I was just getting back with the family, trying to keep my head from getting gonked out. Had to get things straightened out before getting serious with you. I didn't want to move too fast and ruin it"

"I get it…just giving you a hard time." He hugged her. "Glad things went the way they did".

"We got there eventually". She said, turning to facing the sunrise, and giving the basilisk a little tap. "I do not think we are ever going to live that night down. Mitch still gives me shit about it."

"Yeah me too. Worth it though." V replied with a sheepish grin. She returned it with one of her own. Then her expression changed, more serious now.

"Saul had heard about you, you know. He knew about how broken up you were when the Bakkers dissolved."

V looked surprised "Saul knew about me? He never said anything."

"He liked to play his cards close" She looked at him. "You know that".

He nodded again. "Terrible when a family breaks up like that. Lotta people.. never find their way again."

"That was almost the Aldecaldos. We were in a bad spot. Good thing you talked some sense into me and Saul. Raiding Arasaka was the second best thing that ever happened to us"

"What was the first?" Now he was confused. "Stealing the basilisk?"

"When you showed up, you fuckin' gonk". She said, sitting up and giving him a slap on the shoulder.

He laughed. "Now you sweet talkin' me?"

"Do not get used to it" She said, and pulled him in for another kiss. She looked over at the camp now, it looked like everyone was waking up. She hopped off the basilisk. "Let us get some fucking coffee and take a look at that warehouse in the daylight. Maybe we can still find something for you."


	6. The Star - Chapter 6

Panam and V headed to the fire to get some coffee and porridge. She reached down and grabbed his hand. He looked over at her. "Everything OK?"

"Yes, just… Thank you."

"No problem. Anytime" He squeezed her hand in return, then reached for a couple mugs for coffee. They were at camp now.

Mitch looked up as they approached. "You… get everything sorted out? Shit was kinda rough last night."

They answered at the same time "Yeah. All good. Nova".

"Nova". said Mitch. "Finish your breakfast and let's see what the fuck happened here."

Everyone ate together, shootin' the shit. The mood was light, things almost felt normal. Shit, he almost forgot he was dyin'.

"Well, let's take a fuckin' look". Dakota poured the rest of the coffee on the fire. "Grab your iron, just in case any shit goes down, and  let's go. Maybe we can find some pills or  somethin '"

He grabbed River's gun out of the basilisk. Panam had Kerry's pistol. Fuck, he'd given Johnny's gun to Mitch. Well, Mitch did have a synthetic arm, seemed appropriate. Dakota had some auto-shotgun she'd made, and the other nomads had 'saka assault rifles. They looked like a little army headed into the empty warehouse.

They stepped inside; everything was boarded up except the big sliding garage style door. The interior was surprisingly bright. V looked around. How the fuck was it so well-lit in here? Then he saw it, same time as Dakota.

"Bullet holes…". They said at exactly the same time. Mitch, Panam and the other nomads looked around and saw them too.

They looked at the bodies. "Panam...?" Mitch said. He was pointing at a pile of bodies, badly damaged. Some were hard to identify as human. "What's that look like to you?"

Confused, she looked at Mitch and back to V. V shrugged.

"Like a pile of bodies? Not sure what you are getting at Mitch" Her face scrunched up, and she looked baffled now.

"Look at their tatoos. Their chrome". Mitch gestured to the bodies.

Panam and V both looked at the pile and then back at each other. Then they saw it, both at the same time. The tatoo - "WRAITH".

"Well, they ain't gonna get any less rotten. Let's check em' out." Mitch hopped on the pile of bodies. The other nomads recoiled.

Mitch saw their expressions. "This aint shit. You guys weren't in the war. This many, this'd be a slow day". He methodically laid each body out, side by side, checking each one for any markings or identification. Everyone in the room was frozen, paralyzed with disgust. Now that the Mitch was moving the bodies, the smell was almost unbearable "Raffen, every fuckin' one." Now he looked puzzled. "What the fuck kills 30 Wraiths like this? These guys were packin' too, and chrome'd out. You'd need a tank, or…"

One of the other nomads chimed in. "Cars out back – shot to fuck too. Fulla' holes. All wraith shit too. The tire tracks lead here, but nothing headin' out."

V's stomach dropped. Fuck. That meant whoever, or whatever did this was still here. He slid the safety off on River's gun. He heard clicks as the other nomads did the same. Fuck. Had they walked right into a trap?

He heard the sound of grating, sliding metal, and looked around. The room dimmed. The door was closed now, they were trapped.

"V?". Panam looked at him. Her face was full of terror, ghost white. He felt the color drain out of his own face. Fuck. He was about to get his family killed in the middle of fuckin' nowhere. Should have taken himself out on that rooftop back in NC. He looked around. Everyone was pale. Fuck. Johnny was right, he never should have called Panam befoe that raid on 'saka. Why did he have to drag her into this? He threw up. Porridge was worse comin' back up.

He heard a metallic whir. Four, no, six Militech autocannons appeared out of sliding plates in the floor. He saw them spin around as they scanned the room, and then each one locked on to someone. Looked like 10mm autocannons. Fuck. They'd be nothing more than red mist and chrome soon.

Panam ran over to him. He could hear the whir as the turret followed her. She embraced him tightly.

"Panam… "He started, but she cut him off.

"It's ok. V – I love you. I just wanted to say it. One time. Looks like this is our last chance. I do not regret ANYTHING. I would do it all again." She was choking up bad, so bad she couldn't get any more words out for a few seconds.

"Love you too Panam. I'd do it again too. All of it." His voice broke. He couldn't speak either. His throat felt full, and his eyes were burning. Fuck. Well, guess he didn't need to worry about dyin' in a few months.

She looked at him, "You fucking sweet talker. You had better mean that."

"I do". He really did. He finally understood what that jacket Saul had given him meant. Meant they'd all be willing to be there for each other. To die for each other. Johnny never had that; he wouldn't have understood this. He didn't regret calling her after all. Shit she'd probably have been pissed if he hadn't given her the chance to help him. But he did, and she showed up at 3AM, to help him raid 'saka tower. Fuck. He did love her.

He held her close and closed his eyes and waited for the sound of the autocannons. Hopefully it was quick. Lookin' at the size of those cannons it wouldn't take to many rounds.

He heard another metallic whir, and then another different noise. Sounded familiar but he couldn't place it. Where had he heard that? It was getting closer. Sounded like footsteps. No fuckin' way. Whatever it was, sounded like it weighed 500 kilos. Fuck, was there a 'saka mech here too? What the fuck was this place? He opened his eyes and looked over at the last opened floor plate. There was no turret on this one, but there was bright bluish light coming out of it. A shadow was gradually obscuring the light, and the sound, definitely footsteps, was close now.

A metallic sphere appeared in the stairwell. No, not quite a sphere. And what was that on it? Two smaller silver orbs, with little red circles in them?

"What the fuck…?" Everyone in the room said it at the same time. Their eyes were all open now, all on the doorway. They could tell now that the sphere was a head, and the smaller orbs were eyes. A figure emerged from the stairwell now, ten feet tall and chromed out the ass. V wasn't sure if it was a robot, or a human. Then it dawned on him who it must be.

"No fuckin' way" V yelled. He trained his gun on the figure. The other nomands did the same. Who fuckin' knew if bullets could get through that chrome, but they'd go out swingin'. Johnny would have liked it.

"Smasher". V yelled again. "How? Panam and I zeroed you in 'saka tower."

The figure paused. It's face looked puzzled. Guess it was human. Robots don't get confused.

"Smasher?", The figures's voice boomed, but there was hesitation, like it was thinking about what he'd said. It sounded human. Robots don't hesitate.

It's red eyes flashed and dimmed, then went bright blue, same color as the desert sky. The turrets sunk into the ground.

"Can you please lower your weapons?" The figure asked. Now it sounded downright polite. "I have lowered mine as a show of good faith." Definitely human. They all looked at each other and holstered their weapons.

"Thank you. My apologies for the welcome. Had to be sure that it was you. We've been having some trouble with the locals". The figure pointed at the bodies and the bullet holes. "Sometimes they have to be reminded not to come here." The figure looked back into the stairwell "Boys, can you please clean this up?"

Two more chromed out figures emerged from the stairwell in single file. They were big, but smaller  than the first. Their eyes were gone, hands and feet were all metal. Only their chest and back were flesh. How were these guys not  cyberpsycho ? They had a lotta chrome. V saw the tattoos on their backs as they started carrying the bodies back into the stairwell. 'MAELSTROM'.

Then it dawned on V who it was. Must've dawned on Panam too, and Mitch. All at the same time. "Ortega?" They all said in unison.

The figure smiled. "In the flesh". Then he looked down at his full metal body and laughed. "Well, you get the idea. Did you bring the merchandise, as we discussed?"


	7. The Star - Chapter 7

V realized that he was still hugging Panam, standing in a pile of his own vomit. He loosened his grip on her, and they stood side by side, in his puke, holding hands, not really believing what they were seeing. 

Mitch was standing there slack jawed too. 

Ortega spoke up again. “The merch. Please?” 

Mitch finally spoke. His voice was still full of shock. “Yea, we got it. In the tank”. 

Ortega’s eyes pulsed red and then back to blue, and he spoke “Your Militech Basilisk is damaged, quite badly. I have assessed it via my external camera system. Are you sure the merchandise is intact, as we discussed? 

“Yeah, its preem. I checked last night, ‘fore we ate”. Mitch answered him. 

“Good. It would be a shame if you had come all this way for nothing. Can you please go and get it?” Mitch nodded, stepped out of the warehouse, headed over to the basilisk. 

“What did this guy want with ‘saka tech. Any idea?” V asked Panam. 

She shook her head “I do not know. Mitch set this up.” 

Ortega looked at V now. “Do you mind if I scan you? I have heard of you. You killed Smasher. Raided Araska Tower.” 

V shook his head. “Do it” His vision dimmed, and he stumbled. What the fuck kind of scanner was this? 

“You are more badly damaged than your tank. You are dying.” Orega said, in a soft voice. He was looking down now, almost talking to himself. “So, it is true…” Ortega looked back up, his metallic eyes met V’s. “You are not human. You have been soulkilled. You are a machine. Terrible. That is a fate worse than death. You can never replace what you’ve lost. But... did I detect…” Ortega spoke directly to V again. “Can I scan you once more? This one will be intense. You should brace yourself.” 

V leaned on Panam and nodded. He felt himself get scanned again, Ortega’s face looked puzzled. He could feel this one deep in his brain, he almost passed out. Ok, who was this fuckin’ guy? And how was he doing this? 

“How...” Ortega sounded surprised now. “You are in love. Impossible. And…” Ortega scanned Panam now, she stumbled on her feet. 

“Fuck, really! Can I at least get a warning next time?” Panam snapped at Ortega and then realized what she’d done. Ortega smiled, and apologized to her, he didn’t look upset or flustered at all. He almost looked happy she’d snapped at him. 

“Such passion. Such fire. Amazing. I have never seen anything like it” Ortega was looking at Panam, he seemed impressed. 

Mitch came back in, pushing a hoversled full of boxes, covered in a tarp. Ortega walked over to the sled, then looked at Mitch. 

“Do you mind if I scan you? I like to know who I am dealing with.” Ortega asked. He looked over at Panam. “I apologize again for scanning without your permission. I was lost in the moment.” 

Mitch looked over at Panam, and then at V. They all shrugged. 

“Fuck it. Go for it.” Mitch nodded at Ortega. Mitch stumbled too but didn’t fall. 

Ortega’s eyes went wide again. “You...you knowingly faced certain death. Would have sacrificed yourself. For them.” Ortega pointed at around the room and continued. “When you raided Arasaka tower. You could have just ran. Anybody in Night City would have fled in that Militech basilisk. You spent weeks in a coma.” 

Mitch looked puzzled. He lit a cigarette. “Fuck runnin'. They’re family. Anybody here woulda done it.” Everyone nodded in unison. Mitch spoke again “How’d you know that? You some kinda’ mind reader?” 

Ortega laughed. “In a sense. But probably not how you would think of it. I cannot hear your thoughts, if that is what you understand mind reading to be.” 

V spoke up now. “How’d you know about me then? That I was dyin’. About soulkiller. That shit you said. Said about..love?” He squeezed Panam’s hand. She squeezed his back. 

Ortega spoke again. “Have any you heard of Stormtech?” 

Dakota spoke up now. “Sure. They have contracts with some of the Seven Nations. We move equipment for them, other odd jobs sometimes too.” 

Panam followed her. “Yes, Saul had some contacts with some of them. I think Santiago did some work with Stormtech too. The Aldecaldos funded some of their projects, years ago. One of our members is in contact with their people in Phoenix right now. They were in originally based in Chicago, before the plague took it out.” 

Ortega nodded. “Correct, you are well connected, and well informed.” 

Panam looked pleased, but then continued, looking puzzled. “Saul never did say what we were funding though. Or why we stopped. It was all before my time.” 

Ortega answered her. “I know what you were funding. I was working with Stormtech at the time. The Aldecaldos, along with a few other nations were funding development of biotechnology, nanotechnology.” 

Panam gasped, “Why would Saul have not told me this? Did he not trust me?” She looked at Dakota, and at Mitch “Did either of you know?” 

Dakota shook her head. “Rumors’. Nothin’ concrete.” Mitch shook his head as well. 

Fuckin’ biotech. And 50 years ago, if they were workin’ with Santiago. Shit, V thought. Guess these nomads are well connected. He wondered what Ortega’s deal was though, he didn’t exactly look trustworthy. 

Ortega continued. “This was a long time ago, and top secret. Saul was protecting you by keeping it from you. With the additional funding and resources of the nomads, Stormtech made several biotechnical breakthroughs. One was an implant to help them negotiate with other corporations, to help them sense the motivations of their adversaries. It works by analyzing the chemical reactions in your brain. Using these implants, I can infer your emotions, motivations, desires, loyalties. Occasionally I can glimpse a strong memory, or a persistent thought, but that is rare."

Ortega looked at Mitch now. “At Araska tower, when you were prepared to sacrifice yourself, you felt only loyalty, compassion, concern for your family. You did not experience fear, or doubt. What you did made a permanent implant on your mind, when your synapses were burned, that loyalty, that compassion was burned into them. You are changed forever. I have never seen anything like it.” 

Mitch ground out his cigarette with his boot, and spoke up “Like I said, family. I’d do it again. No fuckin’ question” 

“I know that you would.” Ortega replied with a smile. “Now that your question is answered, do you mind if I inspect the merchandise?” 

Mitch nodded, and Ortega walked over to the sled, and pulled off the tarp. V saw what printed was on the boxes. ‘MIKOSHI’. 

Ortega turned to the nomads. “Perfect. Exactly as I had hoped” Ortega’s eyes flashed, and several smaller metal panels unlocked in the floor. No turrets this time, though, it was a circle of chairs and a stainless-steel table in the middle of them. 

“Preem.” V gasped, and then caught himself. Who fuckin’ has shit like this? 

Ortega looked at him with amusement “Preem indeed. Please, have a seat, let us negotiate. Name your price. I must have this Mikoshi technology.” 


	8. The Star - Chapter 8

Everyone took a seat at the table. 

V spoke up. “Guess I’ll start. Looks like you got some crazy fuckin’ shit here. Can you… can you save me?” 

Ortega frowned. “No. You are dying, and desperate. I understand. But you have been soulkilled. Your body is rejecting your mind. I can provide and install immune-suppressing implants. With these, you can live for a few more years. But I cannot stop your body from rejecting your mind. Eventually it will happen. Your body is human, and your mind is not. It is terrible what has been done to you. Arasaka’s Mikoshi system is primitive, cruel. They did not stop to think of the cost before developing it. Mikoshi is little more than a prison.” 

“Alt said… said Johnny would survive in this body though. He was soulkilled too... How would he have lived?” 

Ortega frowned. “I know about Alt Cunningham. She is in Mikoshi now. Now, instead of Saburo Arasaka, she is the warden of that prison. She was deceiving you, deceiving Johnny. Or she did not know. He would have lived longer in that body, this much is true, but he would have eventually met the same fate you face now. He too was a machine, less human than even you.” 

V frowned now. Johnny seemed human enough. Was this fuckin’ guy tryin’ to pull a fast one? He spoke up “No, that’s fuckin ‘bullshit. Johnny was human. He cared about me.” 

“Johnny likely did regain some of his humanity, through you” Ortega nodded. “He felt your emotions once he was in your head. It started when he was in your friend Jackie’s head. There was probably a small part of Jackie on that chip along with Johnny. Did Silverhand fight you when you told him you wished to take the body?” 

V shook his head. “No, he told me take it... Told me … told me to never stop fighting. Sure seemed like he gave a fuck” Then he looked up at Ortega. “Wait, you know about Jackie?” 

Ortega nodded. “I have connections in Night City. I know about your trip to Konpeki Plaza. And what Silverhand said, that is good advice, and it looks like you chose to listen.” 

V felt Panam’s hand on his, and her grip tightened. She was excited. “V, a few more years! That is so much more time than we had hoped for.” She turned and hugged him. “That will give us the time to get your head fixed for real!” 

He felt a little relief, but this wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for. A few years or a few months. Still a dead man walkin’. It was some good news though, and they had found this place. Who knew what else was out there? 

V was silent for a while, thinkin’ about what Ortega said about Mikoshi, lookin’ for his angle. Then it occurred to him, this guy was hidin’ somethin’. “If Mikoshi’s a prison, why do you want the tech?” he gestured over at the boxes. 

Ortega looked surprised. “I am not interested in Mikoshi software. I need the hardware. Arasaka’s neural interface technology is unrivalled. They do not understand what to do with a mind, but they are very skilled at interfacing with the human brain. I require Mikoshi neural interface technology for my research."

“Research? What’r you workin’ on way out here that needs Mikoshi tech?”. Dakota asked. 

“My survival”. Ortega looked at V now. “I am not that different from you. I too am dying.” 

V’s mouth went wide. “You were soulkilled?? 

Ortega shook his head. “No thankfully. Normally I do not share this information, but your situation is unique. I can relate.” Ortega looked around the table again. “Are you all familiar with cyber-psychosis? I understand it is becoming a problem in Night City.” 

The entire table nodded. 

“You are probably wondering how I have victim not fallen to that. How my men have not. The more cybernetics that are implanted into you, the more common it becomes.” 

Dakota spoke again. “You boys r’ packing more chrome than anybody in NC. How are you keeping it together? Shit, Maelstrom boys in NC would justa’ soon kill you as look at you”. 

Ortega pointed into the stairwell. “There is a cure for cyber-psychosis, I’ve saved these men. And installed advanced cybernetic implants into them to allow them to do things your Night City rippers can only dream of. ” 

“What’d you mean by advanced? Militech shit?” Mitch asked. Then it dawned on him. “Wait, a fuckin’ cure? For psychosis...No shit...” 

Dakota asked now. “Is that what you are workin’ on our here? Is that how you are tryin’ to live?” 

Ortega shook his head again “There is a limit to the cure, I’m afraid. I am too far gone. I can feel these implants taking over. Maybe if I would had stopped installing them, I would have survived. The others have stopped, they are happy, loved, content. I however have accelerated my own augmentation. I feel I have no other choice.” 

V spoke. “Why? Would you cook your fuckin’ brain? You have tech here beyond anything I saw at fuckin’ Arasaka. Shit, I was inside Mikoshi, and you are still gonkin’ my brain out.” 

Ortega walked back to the table and sat down. He looked at V, and at Panam. He addressed them both. “You two, of everyone here, should understand. I am doing it for my partner, my lover, my wife. She is dying, and thus I am as well. If she does die, I will be unable to survive without her for long.” 

V and Panam spoke together “You are… married?” They looked at Ortega, at each other, and then back to him. 

Ortega nodded, “We are all married. There are six of us here, in my compound. My, my men, and our wives.” 

“How do you fuckin’ meet any ladies way out here?” Mitch asked laughing. “Got any more?” 

Ortega laughed. “We did not meet out here. I met my wife in Night City, and we grew sick of it, and left, much as you did. We ran a ripper clinic out here for nomads, for anyone that needed it really. We were just trying to get by. Not much different than the ripperdocs you would find in Night City. This was probably 50 years ago, just before the attack on Arasaka tower.” 

“Wait, you lived out here, alone. In the badlands, 50 years ago? How? It was so much more dangerous out here then.” Panam asked. 

Ortega looked up at the ceiling now, but his eyes were not focused on anything in the room. “Not alone, we had each other. 30 years we spent together out here. We grew very close, shared a bond that we thought would have been impossible. I cannot describe it; it was as if we were one person. Such a bond, even between lovers is incredibly rare. We had some hard times, of course, but we could always rely on each other. Neither of us could have survived alone out without the other.” 

Panam looked at V, and squeezed his hand, and smiled. “Looks like this guy’s a fuckin’ sweet talker too.” Then her expression turned serious. “Do you think we will ever have that?” 

V squeezed her hand back. “I hope so.” He smiled at her. Fuck, did he hope so. But he was dead in three years, even with this crazy fuckin ripper’s implants. Thirty sounded impossible. 

Ortega looked at them, sadly now “You bond is strong, this is true. Both of you clearly care very deeply for each other” He nodded in Panam’s direction, then addressed V again. “Those feelings, that connection, is what has kept you alive this long. Those feelings are so very human, love is perhaps the most human emotion that we can experience. I apologize, I was wrong when I first scanned you, you are not all machine. But that human part of your consciousness is fading, Soulkiller is still working its way through your mind. When it finishes, your body will reject your mind completely, and you will die. There is no other way. This is why Soulkiller is worse than death. You will lose all of your humanity, every part of who you are. The body would rather die than live like that.” 

Fuck. V thought. Well, this guy sure doesn’t fuckin’ sugarcoat anything. 

Panam still hadn’t given up. Fuck. He did love her optimism, her strength. “We will figure something out V. We have gotten this far”. 

Ortega smiled at her. “I wish you all the best with that. You have certainly beaten the odds to get here.” Ortega looked at Panam now. “This will be difficult for you, watching someone you love slowly die. You must be prepared.” 

Panam squeezed his hand again and looked at him. “I know. But I will be here for you V. Always. Until the end. I meant what I said in that warehouse. I really did. I should have said it sooner.” 

Fuck. What did he do to deserve her? He was glad he got three more years with her. Thinking about it, that’s pretty fuckin’ preem. Better than a few weeks. He put his arm around her. “S’ok, I knew how you felt. You didn’t need to say anything. Shit, I shoulda’ told you too.” 


	9. The Star - Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Everyone that has stuck with the story so far, thank you! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it

Ortega smiled at V and Panam and continued. “So... back to the deal? Do you accept? I have the implants here, but only I am skilled enough to install them for you. I can install them this evening. You will want to rest, and eat first, the procedure is invasive, and you will need to stay here for a day or two to recover. I have a research complex under the warehouse, food, supplies, sleeping quarters. You will be comfortable. I can also repair your Militech Basilisk.” 

Panam looked at him. “You cool with it V? I will call camp, tell them we will not be back. We can stay here until you are ready to leave.” 

He nodded. “Sure... Let's do it.” He could hardly believe this was happening. Shit, it was unreal. 

Ortega nodded. “Perfect. Can I trouble you to help me carry this equipment below ground? If the wraiths come back, I don’t want it to be damaged.” 

“Sure thing” Mitch said. 

They all hopped up, grabbed the boxes off the hover sled, and headed to the stairwell. The hatch slid into place above them, and V heard what must have been the table and chairs slide back into the floor. Hope this guy’s legit, he thought. But he had a strange feeling. Secret underground base? Somethin’ wasn’t right. This guy was hidin’ somethin’ all right. Better be careful. 

“Please put the equipment in that room”. Ortega pointed to one of the rooms, off to the left.

The door slid open. All the other doors were closed. V headed in, just behind Panam, and looked around. The room was unremarkable, white walls, white ceiling, bright lights, empty except for some shelving units. It was perfectly clean, no dust anywhere. Impressive, especially in the middle of the badlands. They set the boxes on the shelves, made a few more trips back upstairs for the rest of the boxes, headed back to the central hallway, and formed a single file line.

Ortega was in the lead, he looked back. “It’s nearly midday. You all must be hungry. V, you especially must eat, you will need your strength.” 

He was hungry. Fuck, time for more porridge. Hope they could at least warm it up. He continued down the hall, just behind Panam. They were trying to investigate the other rooms, but they were all closed off. One room ahead on their left was open, an orangish flickering light was coming from it. As they passed the room, V looked in. Fuck, he almost threw up. He saw Panam’s knees go weak and grabbed her to steady her. Fuck. He heard Mitch and Dakota gag. 

Inside the room were the two men with the maelstrom tattoos. Out of each of their fingers, tiny metal rods appeared. They were methodically stripping the implants from the wraith’s bodies and throwing the chrome into a large furnace. Fuck... V thought ...meltin’ em down. Brutal. Also, in the room, opposite the furnace, was a large white bin, on it was the word ‘Stormtech’. Under the bin, some sort of machine was grinding up the stripped bodies. He could hear the sickening crunch of bones snapping. 

He looked back at the pile of bodies and stopped for second to study them. Not all the bodies had bullet holes. The only marks on some of them were small, bloody holes on their skulls, and one large hole in the back of the head. What the fuck was goin’ on here? 

On the opposite side of the machine, was a conveyer belt, also perfectly clean. On the conveyer belt were large white cubes. At the end of the belt was what looked like a large freezer. A robotic arm was stacking the cubes into the freezer. Fuck. Was this about to be them? Cubed up in some fuckin’ mad scientist’s lab? 

Ortega saw them looking. “Sorry if this disgusts you, but it is the only way. That is a Stormtech protein reprocessor. Feed it organic matter, and it outputs those cubes. I can transform them into nearly any organic material. Human limbs, organs, tissue. I use them to synthesize my food as well. Wraiths are the only renewable resource out here. I can synthesize anything you would like to eat. Would you like a steak?” 

Fuck. What was that people used to say about not knowin’ how the sausage was made? Eatin’ wraiths. This guy was somethin’ Now that fuckin’ porridge didn’t seem so bad. 

“No... thank you” Panam said. 

“Yeah....Porridge for me.” he said. 

“Same” Mitch, Dakota, and the other two nomads said at the same time. 

Mitch headed over to the stairs “I’ll get the chow.” 

“Suit yourself.” Ortega said. When you return, your rooms are down the hall, there. Several doors opened, thirty or so feet down the hallway. “Our mess hall is there.” Another door opened, just past their quarters. “Please rest a bit, prepare your meals, and meet me in three hours. It’s been a long time since I’ve had dinner guests. I have alcohol here too, we should celebrate. Don’t worry, it wasn’t synthesized here, its imported from Night City.” 

V headed into one of the rooms with Panam and sat on the bed, she sat next to him. He didn’t say anything to her, he was still processing what he’d seen. 

Finally, she spoke “I did not think things like that existed.” 

“People do... do what they gotta do to survive...” he said finally. 

“I hope we do not end up in his freezer.” She looked worried. 

“He coulda’ zeroed us in the warehouse, if he wanted.” He was looking around the room now. This room was spotless as well. 

“Yes, you are right. Still, something is strange around here” She was looking around too. 

“Yeah. We might need to delta.” Just then his vision darkened, and he felt himself almost fall sideways. 

“V... You ok? Panam grabbed his shoulders. 

“Yeah... just gotta lay down. Gotta rest” He was getting' woozy. 

“I will keep watch. You rest.” She said and gave him a kiss. She got up off the bed, headed to the bathroom, and started washing the dust from her hands and face. 

He laid there, looking at the ceiling, his head spinnin’. What a fuckin’ day. And it was just half over. Just as he was closing his eyes, something flickered directly above him, on the pristine white ceiling. What was fuck.... he opened his eyes. He recognized what it was right away. Fuck... hadn’t seen these since NC. Shit, was he losin’ his mind? He focused again on the ceiling. It was a Tarot card. Same as the ones he’d seen in NC. He remembered this one, knew most of them from Misty. The Wheel of Fortune. He remembered what Misty had said about this: 

“ _The Wheel of Fortune means that change is coming. One's destiny could turn out for the better or the worse, yet it also bears the promise of new possibilities. The Wheel reminds us that nobody_ _remains_ _at t_ _he_ _top_ _forever, but also that not every situation is_ _hopeless.._ _”_


	10. The Star - Chapter 10

“V! wake up. V!” He heard Panam yelling at him and opened his eyes. 

“Are you ok? I could not wake you up.” She was looking down at him, concern on her face. 

He looked at her, then at the ceiling. Whatever was up there was gone now. He sat up. 

“Yeah.... fine. Feelin’ fine now. Just... tired.” 

She smiled at him. “Good, cannot have you checking out yet V.” She gestured to the door. “Everyone else is waiting. We should go.” 

V nodded. “Yeah, gotta’ be careful though. Watch our backs.” 

Panam was looking up and down the hallway outside the mess hall. “I do not like this either.” 

V followed her into the mess hall, and stopped, shocked. This wasn’t like any mess hall he’d seen. There was a huge table in the middle, looked like it was made of real wood. Wooden shelving and furniture around the room too, with little pictures, trophies on them. The walls were flat black, and the lighting was dim. Shit, it looked like one of Night City’s fanciest restaurants. He felt his mouth open in amazement. 

Ortega was looking at him, smiling. “Impressed?” 

V nodded “How’s this possible?” 

Ortega laughed. “I told you, I can synthesize any organic substance. Wood is no exception. Please, sit down.” 

V looked at Panam, and they both sat at the table. Mitch, Dakota and the others were already seated. One of the Maelstrom men was there as well, and one woman. She was bald, her head was covered in scars. 

V looked around the room, at the trophies, the pictures. His eyes stopped on one of the pictures. No fuckin’ way. That picture... was that... No. Couldn’t be. 

Ortega spoke again. “It looks like you have identified our mutual connection.” 

“How...” V started. The man in the picture was Victor. Well young Vic, but sure as shit that was him. 

“I trained him. I still talk to him occasionally. He is the one that told me about your situation. I reached out to Mitch and set this meeting up. I had to meet you; I had heard so much. And I knew you had the stolen Mikoshi technology, and that you needed my help.” 

Panam was looking at the pictures too, then spoke. “You trained him... as ripper?” 

Ortega smiled at Panam. “No, as a boxer. I was a boxer too, once. Have you never heard of Sebastian Ortega, 2018 Heavyweight Champ of Night City?” 

Fuck, V thought. That was why the name sounded familiar. “No shit...” 

“It is true. Vic’s a good person and those are very rare in Night City.” Ortega smiled to himself. Then he looked around the room. “Shall we eat? The food is ready.” 

The other Maelstrom man, and another woman came into the mess hall, she had scars similar to the woman already seated. They were pushing a cart that had bowls of porridge on it, and several plates with metal covers. 

Fuck, V thought to himself, this isn’t what he was expectin’ down here. Those scars though, what’s up with that? 

The two servers worked their way around the table, serving up the meal. Mitch, Dakota, Panam, V, and the two other nomads had porridge. Everyone else got one of the covered plates. Once everyone was served, the other Maelstrom man and his wife sat down. 

Ortega removed the cover from his dish and looked at the plate. On it there was a huge steak, and mashed potatoes. “Perfect.” Ortega looked around the room again. “Are you sure I can’t convince you? We have developed the perfect way to cook a steak. One of our side projects.”

V thought about what it was made of and shook his head. He was still thinking about that room with the wraiths. “Nah... thanks.” 

“Suite yourself”. Ortega said. “Let’s eat”. Then he stopped and said, “Almost forgot”, stood up, and hurried out of the room. He returned a few minutes later, carrying a bottle and shot glasses. “We are celebrating. I have been saving this. Can I convince you to join me for a drink? I promise, I did not make this here.” 

V looked to Mitch, Dakota, Panam. No one spoke. 

Mitch broke the silence. “Fuck it. I’ll take some”. 

“Yeah. Same. I could use a drink” said Dakota. 

“Excellent.” Ortega said. He walked around the table, pouring them each a shot. After he was done, he returned to his seat and picked up his glass. “To life!” he said and paused for everyone else to raise their glasses. “To life!” they all repeated. 

V was trying to figure out this guy’s fuckin’ deal, lookin’ for an angle. There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone started to eat. 

Then Ortega spoke up. “What is dinner without some conversation? Would you like to hear how I ended up in this situation?” 

Silence again, then Mitch spoke up “Sure. I like a good story”. 

“Let’s hear it.” Dakota said. 

Ortega nodded. “Very well. My wife and I spent close to thirty years in the desert. We both became skilled rippers, there was nothing we couldn’t do. Word got around and we started getting big clients. I had progressively advanced cybernetics installed into myself to be able to perform the procedures my clients requested.” 

Ortega paused, ate some his steak, and continued. 

“Eventually, I started to suffer from the early stages of cyber-psychosis. I was getting worse, losing days of time. That is how I first got in contact with Stormtech. They were doing biological research, trying to find a cure for cyber-psychosis. They told me they had a procedure they could do, but I had to keep it secret. Of course, I took them up on their deal, I was desperate. I would have done anything.” He looked at V. “I told you we were not that different.” 

Ortega reached for a stick of butter, sliced off a chunk, and put it in a tiny metal cup. He lifted the cup with one hand, and a torch appeared from his other hand. His face turned serious, and he used the torch to melt the butter, and then poured it on his mashed potatoes. “Perfect”. Ortega said, looking impressed with himself. 

V realized he had stopped eating He looked around, everyone was staring at Ortega. 

Oretega looked back at the room “Sorry, the butter must heated to precisely thirty-two Celcius, or it will scorch.” Ortega then took a huge bite of potatoes, swallowed it, smiled to himself, and continued. “Cyber-psychosis happens when the mind rejects the body. The mind can only handle so many cybernetic implants without breaking. Stormtech saw a lot of profit in finding a cure for this condition. They theorized that replacing enough cybernetic implants with flesh can reverse cyber-psychosis.” 

“Fuck me...” V, Panam and Mitch all said at the same time. 

“Did it work?” Panam asked. 

Ortega shook his head. “Sadly, it did not. The mind could not deal with the trauma of removing limbs and re-attaching them after it had already started to break from cyber-psychosis. The first test subjects survived but went insane. After some refinement, the subjects did survive for quite some time. Eventually, Stormtech’s scientists studied the subjects who survived the longest; their genes, blood type, anything. They figured out those the that lived the longest had a strong connection to someone.” 

“What do you mean, connection?” Dakota asked. 

Ortega took another bite of his potatoes, smiled, and continued “I went to their secret lab, and they interviewed my wife and I, as well as performed neurological testing. After everything, they told us their plan, and their theory. They said they had built a machine. With it, they theorized that they could take part of one person’s consciousness, their essence, and put it in another person’s head."

V was thinking this was sounded pretty familiar now. “Isn’t this what Arasaka was doin’?” he said. 

Ortega shook his head. “No, this was different. With Arasaka, the donor consciousness would overwrite the recipient. The donor became a kind of parasite, a tapeworm. Stormtech’s procedure, however, would amplify the recipient’s connection back to their humanity.” 

“Holy shit” Panam dropped her spoon, it clattered into her bowl. 

Ortega didn’t seem to notice. “The two minds must have a strong, nearly impossible to find bond. They were interested in me, because of my wife, our connection. After so many years in the desert together, we had tested better than anyone so far. They said we had a real shot. But this procedure had never been done, and there were risks. It was untested, dangerous. The donor would lose part of themselves forever to save the recipient. The donation had to be made truly willingly, or the recipient and the host would die. Stormtech also had crude neural interfaces, the procedure was extraordinarily painful, especially for the donor, who was having part of themselves removed.” 

“But it worked.” V said. “Had to right. I mean here you are, after all this time, talkin’ us, blowin’ our minds.” 

“It did work.” Ortega nodded. “Better than they expected, I was saved. They did not need to remove my implants. Additionally, I could support more powerful, advanced cybernetics. Unfortunately, there were consequences they did not expect. The connection was bidirectional. Part of her mind, her essence, was in me, but part of my mind, my essence was in her. We were forever linked together that day. If one of us dies, the other will follow shortly after. I will never forgive myself for making her pay this price. She has always said she would do it again, even knowing the result”. 

They all sat around the table in silence for a long time, processing everything. Then Mitch spoke up “Wait a minute, I thought you said you were dyin’. Sounds like she saved your ass.” 

“She did, for a time. But remember, if one of us dies, we will both perish. That time is coming, unless I can do something to save her. She is dying. We were attacked by wraiths, twenty years ago. She was gravely injured. I have been keeping her alive with medications, Stormtech’s experimental cybernetics, anything. Despite all this, she cannot leave this facility, she cannot survive outside it. I have granted us extra time, but the end is coming. I only have months left at this rate”. 

“Shitty club to be in.” V said. 

Ortega smiled at his men. “Stormtech attempted the procedure used on me hundreds of times over the next decade or so. They managed to save two other cyberpsychos.” 

The two Maelstrom men nodded. 

Oretga gestured to the women. “Their wives made the same sacrifice mine did. This is the reason for their scars.” 

V spoke up. “Why do you need the Mikoshi tech? Why do you need to interface with her brain again? Are you gonna’ Soulkill your wife? Keep her as an engram? To save yourself?” 

Oretega looked upset. “Of course not.” 

“Why then.” V asked. “Why Mikoshi? You got shit that make’s ‘saka look like a buck a slice stand here.” 

“As I said earlier, Arasaka’s neural interface technology is unmatched. They can access the mind without damaging the host’s body. However, they could never preserve an intact human mind. It is beyond their capabilities. They are using the wrong technology to even attempt it.” 

Fuck, All those people in Mikoshi. “What about that secure your soul program?” V asked. 

“Worse than dead, all of them. They will never be the same, if they ever even return from Mikoshi. Mikoshi though, is not unique. Most corporations have something similar, Stormtech is no exception. Stormtech’s system though, is one of a kind. This is because it is not based in silicon.” 

Mitch spoke now. “Ok, I’ll bite. What the fuck is it? Not that I understand halfa what you are talkin’ about."

“Stormtech’s solution is called Labyrinth, it is based on synthetic human brain tissue. It can change, adapt, grow, exactly like a real human brain. But they do not have the means to interface cleanly with existing neural systems. Additionally, there is no guarantee the mind survives the trip. It is extremely disorienting. The mind must be conditioned over time to be able to exist in Stormtech’s system. If the mind is not sufficiently prepared, Labyrinth will be terrible for the mind, far worse than Mikoshi. Imagine being trapped forever, with no concept of time, your raw emotions all you know. Primal waves of terror, confusion, despair washing over you for what feels like centuries, millenia, until your mind shatters. This is a fate far worse than death or than even Soulkiller."

“Shit”. V muttered to himself. This was fuckin’ insane. He got off easy with Johnny. 

“Fuck me…” Panam looked at V. “Are you fucking hearing this? Sounds crazy” 

He laughed. “Crazier’ than a rockstar stuck in your head?” 

She laughed back at him “Actually… yes. It does sound crazier than that.” 

“I assure you; it is very real.” Ortega spoke up. “I have contacts at Stormtech, I have been conducting research here, on their behalf. Without the Araska neural interface technology the transfer will work about fifty percent of the time. The extreme physical shock of the procedure often breaks the subject’s mind. We also do not spend much time conditioning the minds of our subjects. It takes months of preparation for a mind to survive in Labyrinth. Even the successful transfers are terminated, after we have learned what we need. We are primarily trying to refine our own neural interface.” 

“How do you get people to volunteer for this” Panam said, astonished. 

“We volunteer them. As I said, my men and I have advanced cybernetics. We are nearly unstoppable in combat. We raid the surrounding Wraith camps in the night, bring them back here. They fear us, with good reason. Occasionally they will send a squad to attack me, but they cannot breach this facility.” 

V looked to Mitch, Panam, Dakota. No one said anything. 

Ortega was finishing his steak. He looked at V. “V, you must eat, you will need your strength.” Ortega looked around the table, noticed everyone had stopped eating. “Please, eat. You will be here for some time.” 

V nudged Panam. 

“What’s up V?” She asked. She looked like she was still processing everything. 

“I don’t like this.” he whispered to her. 

She shrugged and whispered back “It sounds like we just saved his life, and his wife’s. Plus, he has those implants for you. We need his help; I do not think we have a choice. And he knows Vic. That has to count for something.” 

“Guess you're right…” He whispered again. 

“Get used to it”. She smiled at him. “And maybe we finally caught a break. We sure could use one.” 

V took another bit of his porridge. At least it wasn’t made outt’a fuckin’ wraiths. His vision dimmed, flickered again, Fuck. Now is not the time for this shit. 

Then he saw another image, this time on the table. It was massive, took up the entire table. Another tarot card. The Tower. 

“ _The Tower is an omen of radical change, chaos and destruction. The lightning striking The Tower signifies a return to the old order that lies buried under the ruins, and a new order that will rise from it. It is a symbol of tragedy, apocalypse, and self-destruction_.” 

He looked at Panam, she was finishing her porridge. She looked up and smiled at him. 


	11. The Star - Chapter 11

V blinked, and the image on the table disappeared. Fuck. Was he losin’ it for real this time? Or was this symbol somethin’ he should worry about? Jackie did love that Tarot shit. 

“V…You ok?” He felt Panam’s hand on his thigh. 

“Yeah…Preem. Just… Just ready to do this.” 

She nodded at him. 

Ortega was finishing his meal. “V, are you ready? If you feel you do not have your strength, you can rest more.” 

“I could use a nap. Then yeah... let's do it.” V said. He wasn’t sure what the fuck was goin on, but he had to lay down a bit. He wasn’t feeling quite right. 

Ortega nodded. “Understandable. I will prepare the implants, and the anesthesia. When you are ready, contact me on your room’s intercom system.” 

V got up from the table. 

Panam looked at him. “Do you want me to join you, or do you need to spend some time alone?” 

He shook his head. “I can’t believe you are askin’ that. ‘Course I want you to come.” 

She stood up from the table. “That is the correct answer.” she said with a smile, giving him a playful tap on his chest with her fist. 

He looked back at the table. Everyone was smiling and looking at them both. 

“What are you looking at, you fuckin’ gonks?” Panam asked, but she was smiling too. 

Mitch spoke up. “We are just fuckin’ happy for ya’. Almost can’t believe it.” 

Ortega smiled as well. “Another toast!” He circled the room again, filling everyone’s shot glasses. He held up his glass. “To love!” 

“To love!” Everyone repeated. 

V left the room and heard everyone start talking among themselves. He headed to the bedroom, Panam just behind him. 

He entered and sat down on the bed, she sat down next to him. He put his arm around her, and asked “You wanna’ to hear something weird?” 

She looked at him, puzzled. “Everything ok V?” 

He shook his head “I’ll let you decide.” 

“Ok…”. She looked at him. “What is it?” 

“I been seein’ shit. Symbols like. I saw em’ in Night City, thought maybe it was the relic.” 

Panam looked bewildered now. “Symbols? V did you hit your head? Are you ok?” 

He nodded. “I’m fine, I think so at least...” Then he looked at her, squeezed her hand. “You believe in fate? Destiny? All that shit?” 

She looked away from him, thinking, then turned back. “I did not used to. But now? Maybe? I am not sure.” 

He nodded. “I didn’t either. Till recently. Jackie did though. He was into that tarot shit. I thought that was all bullshit till the relic. Once I had that thing in my head, I started seein’ those cards around Night City. See em...right before important shit would happen. Or before I’d meet someone, or ‘fore I’d have to make a decision. Almost like they were… guidin’ me... I dunno.” 

Panam nodded. “I would believe just about anything after what has happened to us.” She paused, then asked “Did you see one when you met me?” 

He nodded “I did. Strength. I thought I was just goin’ crazy at the time, but now, knowin’ you, shit. I think it was some kinda sign.” 

She looked pleased. “Strength. I do not know the tarot. Is that a good card?” 

He nodded. “Sure is. Saw another one too, when I was in the desert outside NC. It was late, I was real bad, barely keepin’ it together. Tryin’ to decide what to do about everything, whether I should call ‘saka, or you. Drove way out in the desert, towards where Jackie and I first arrived.” 

She looked upset. “V, you were seriously having trouble deciding between calling Araska or me?” 

He smiled. “Head was gonked, remember? And I did call you. And then you thought I was leavin’ you.” 

“Sorry about that. It WAS high moon.” Then she asked, “So what did you see out there in the badlands?” 

“I saw the Star. Means hope. Figured maybe there was nothin’ for me in NC. That I should leave. I knew you wanted to get outta town, figured you were the one to call. Then we stopped at that same spot, ‘fore we left, when we got in the basilisk at that radio tower.” 

She frowned. “Are you telling me you called me to raid Araska Tower at high moon, because of some shit you saw in the desert, in the middle of the night?” 

He shook his head. “No. Yes. I dunno. I didn’t want to put you in danger. I’m still not sure if I was just losin’ it. But now I’ve been seein’ em here.” 

“What did you see here?” Panam asked him. 

He told her cards he’d seen, what they meant, and where he’d seen them. 

“Fuck… those sound bad.” she said. 

He shook his head. “Dunno. Probably just my gonk brain. Maybe after I get those implants it will stop”. 

She nodded and laid down on the bed, and he laid down next to her. They stayed that way awhile, looking at the ceiling. 

She finally spoke. “Did you ever think the day you had a rockstar from 50 years ago put in your head would be the second craziest day you had?” 

He laughed “I did not.” 

She turned to face him now. “V?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you. You have no idea how happy I am to have you, what you mean to me. Three more years we have now. And we will find something by then. We must. I mean, can you believe this place? Imagine what else is out there.” Then she smiled. “I just wanted to see what it was like to say that when I wasn’t about to die.” 

He smiled and turned to her. “I love you too Panam. Never woulda’ gotten this far without you.” 

She turned away from him, reached back and pulled him next to her. He put his arms around her, held her close, and fell asleep. 

They slept for a few hours, and then he woke up. She was already up. 

“Ready V?” She seemed excited. 

He nodded. “Let's go.” 

She called Ortega on the intercom, shortly after, he showed up with a wheelchair. “I will administer your anesthesia now. The procedure will not take long, but it is quite invasive” He looked at Panam. “You can wait here or stay with him while I install the implants.” 

She grabbed his hand. “I am coming with you. I will stay for everything.” 

Ortega smiled. “Of course.” He looked at V again. “Are you ready? This is a powerful drug.” 

V nodded, and Ortega pulled out a large needle, injected it into V’s arm. 

Ortega then started pushing the wheelchair down the hallway. 

Panam was right behind them. There was a door open at the very end. As they approached the doorway, he felt Panam’s hand on his shoulder, heard her voice. “I will be here for you the whole time V. And I will see you when you wake up.” 

He tried to grab her hand but couldn’t move. 

Ortega spoke. “The anesthesia is taking effect. You cannot move or speak. Do not be alarmed.” 

Fuck. Oh well, too late now. 

Ortega wheeled him into the operating room. He could only look straight ahead, but this room looked meticulous, same as the others. One of the Maelstrom guys lifted him up and put him on the table. 

Ortega looked at Panam. “If you would like to say anything before we continue, please, say it now. He will completely under soon.” 

Panam’s face appeared above him “V. I love you. I will see you when you wake up!” 

He tried to smile at her, but his mouth wouldn’t move. 

Then the ceiling flickered, transformed. Fuck, not again, another card. Death. It took up the whole ceiling. He blinked, but it was still there. He remembered what Misty had said about this one. 

_“Death is the card of becoming. It signifies an imminent and difficult transition – the conclusion of one phase of life and the beginning of another. Inevitably, something gets lost during the transformation, but something else will rise and take its place.”_

V tried to scream, couldn’t, then blacked out.


	12. The Star - Chapter 12

V opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Panam’s face, she was looking down at him with concern. He felt her squeezing his hand. 

“V… Are you ok? How do you feel?” She asked. 

V thought about it. He felt pretty good, surprisingly good. “Actually… Pretty fuckin’ good. Great even.” 

She smiled now and leaned in for a kiss. “Ortega said that the procedure went even better than he expected. We should be able to leave here by tomorrow morning. We finally caught a fucking break V!” 

Shit, actual good luck. He wasn’t used to this. 

She turned around and spoke towards the door. “He is awake.” 

Mitch and Ortega came into the room. 

Mitch spoke first. “How ya doin’?" 

“Feelin’ great. Better’n I have in a long time.” V answered. 

Mitch put his hand on V’s shoulder. “Glad to hear it buddy.” 

Ortega spoke now “The procedure was a complete success; your body was more accepting of the implants that I would have expected. You have at least three years now, possibly five or six. Congratulations V, you have a second chance.” 

V smiled to himself. Third chance, but fuck it, who’s countin.’ 

Oretega spoke again. “Now that you are feeling better, would you like to finally meet my wife? I have told her about you, your situation. She is doing well today and is excited to meet you.” 

V nodded “Sure. Love to meet ‘er” 

Ortega smiled. “Wonderful. We should go now though. She is awake, but needs to rest soon. She has been having more bad days than good lately.” He brought out the wheelchair. “Your anesthesia is still wearing off, please use this. You do not want to fall.” 

Panam helped him into the wheelchair. 

“Follow me” Ortega said .“She is just through here just down the hallway here, through this door.” 

Ortega pointed at a door, different from the others. This one looked to be made of thick metal. As Ortega approached the door, it slid open. Beyond it was another thick steel door. 

Ortega motioned for Panam and V to come into the chamber. “Please step inside. This is an airlock, and a sterilization chamber.” 

Panam followed him into the airlock, and the outer door closed. A bluish-white light flashed over them all, and then the inner door opened. He investigated the room., but he couldn’t see anything. 

Ortega flipped on the light. 

V looked around, for a bed, chair, anything. He didn’t see any furniture other than a metal desk in the center of the room and a large, Ortega sized chair. Looked like a computer was at the desk. As he continued looking around the room, V saw a series of large grey boxes behind the desk. He read the letters on them - ‘STORMTECH.’ He saw the Mikoshi boxes that they had brought with them as well, the boxes were open and tech and cables from them were strewn around on the floor. 

V was still looking for any hint of a person when he saw it, in the corner of the room. There was a floor to ceiling tube, filled with a greenish liquid, illuminated by a yellowish light. The fuck was this… The tube looked empty. He studied it, looking for anything. He and Panam must have seen what was in it at the same time. 

“Fuck..., no way!” They said together. 

Suspended in the fluid was what looked like a human brain, hooked up to a series of tubes, cables, and wires. Some of the cables ran out of the vat, over to the computer. 

Ortega spoke, He sounded proud. “V, Panam, please meet Isabella, my wife.” 

V and Panam looked at each other, and then back to the vat, and then back to each other. 

Ortega continued now “V, she would like to speak with you. Would you mind”? 

Why the fuck not, he thought. This was almost tame compared to what he’d been doin.’ He nodded. “’Course.” Panam wheeled him over to the vat. 

“Please, connect this cable to your personal link.” Ortega sat at the computer, reached down, and handed V one of the cables connected to the vat. V connected it to his personal link. 

“Uh…hello?” He spoke. 

Ortega laughed. “You don’t need to speak out loud. Think hard about what you want to say, and she will understand.” 

“Uhhh, ok… sure.” He didn’t really know what to think. Then he heard a feminine voice in his head. 

“Hello V. Sebastian told me that you and your family brought the neural interfaces we needed. Thanks to you, he and I will be able to be truly together now. I am sorry, communicating like this is very hard for me, I must go. But I wanted to thank you personally.” 

“No problem” He tried to think it as hard as he could. No response. 

Ortega smiled, got up from the computer, unplugged the cable from V, and briefly plugged in into his own link. He turned to V again. “She understands what you mean, but she is getting weaker. We can only exchange a sentence or two each day.” 

Seeing the confusion on V’s face, Ortega spoke again. “Twenty years ago, we were attacked by Raffen. Isabelle was hit directly by a round from one of their cannons. Her body was badly damaged. I hurried her back here, but even with my skills and cybernetic implants, I could not save her body. Desperate, I had to cut her apart. I managed to preserve her brain, but it was damaged in the attack.” 

Panam spoke up “I am not sure if that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard, or the scariest.” 

Ortega continued. “For twenty years, I have been growing brain tissue here and splicing it into her brain. However, the process is not perfect, her brain is damaged slightly each time. Now, there is nothing more I can do for her. Because of the damage, each surgery is more difficult than the last, more and more precision is required. This is why I’ve been installing progressively more advanced cybernetics in myself. I need a more permanent solution.” 

Ortega gestured at the large grey box now. “This is why I needed those neural interfaces. If I can move her into Labyrinth, she will be able to survive. I will be able to survive.” 

No fuckin’ way!” V yelled at Ortega. “Is that what she wants? To be trapped forever, alone in some prison, so you can live?” 

Ortega shook his head. “I have been conditioning her for years. Labyrinth, unlike Mikoshi, can be a paradise. And she will not be alone. I will be joining her.” 

V looked at Panam. “Yeah, still not sure if this is the sweetest thing I have heard or the worst.” 

Ortega looked down as himself “This body is too far gone. Even with our link, I cannot suppress the cyber-psychosis forever. My implants are too numerous, too advanced, even for two minds to support. The technology you have brought will finally allow us to be together. After you have left this place, my men will transfer her consciousness, along with mine. I’ve trained them well, they will be able to maintain this facility, but as it originally was, a ripper clinic for nomads.” 

“That is...” Panam looked at V. “I guess that is sweet.” 

Ortega looked at V. “You should rest. You can leave in the morning; you should get back to your life. Enjoy the time you have together. I can have your meal sent to your room.” 

They left through the airlock and went back to his quarters. Panam wheeled him into his room. 

“Can you stand up?” She asked. 

“Yeah… Think so. Yeah, I’m good.” He stood up headed towards the bed, and immediately fell over. She caught him. 

“Don’t worry V” She said with a smile “I am here for you. Just like I said.” 

“Thanks. Panam. I don’t deserve you.” 

She helped him onto the bed. Then she asked “V, do you mind if I go and help Mitch with the Basilisk? Ortega has fixed it, but Mitch needs some help with the new tech. Should not take more than a few hours.” 

“Yeah, go for it, I gotta sleep. I’m fuckin’ beat.” 

She smiled, gave him a kiss, and then left the room. 

He watched her leave, and then fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. Didn’t know how long he was gonked out. 

He woke up to the sound of the door to the room opening, he saw Panam enter the room. She walked over to his bed. “V, are you awake? How are you doing?” She was whispering. 

“Preem” He whispered back. “Why are we whisperin’?” 

She smiled. “It is high moon. I do not want to wake anyone up. It took Mitch and I a lot longer than we thought sorting out the new tech in that basilisk. It is fucking nice though, Carol will love it.” 

She laid down next to him in the bed. “V. We have five, maybe six years. Can you believe we pulled this off?” 

He smiled “Never doubted you for a second.” 

She laughed. “Always the sweet talker.” She looked over at him, smiling “It does work though. How are you feeling? Do you think you are strong enough for some celebration? I have an impulse.” 

V thought about it for a few seconds. “Maybe…” He started, then looked over at her. “Ah, fuck it., I’ll risk it. I’m feelin’ pretty fuckin’ good.” 

She undressed, climbed on top of him, and kissed him firmly. “V, I love you.” 

He felt a warm sensation spreading in his chest. “I love you too. I almost can’t believe it. Believe this is happenin’” 

“Believe it” She said, laughing, and kissed him again. They celebrated passionately. 

Afterwards, they laid on the bed, nude, for a long time, not saying anything, just enjoying the sensation of being together. 

He looked over at her. “What are we gonn’a do now? I got time. Almost forgot what it was like, to not be dyin’” 

She frowned. “We still need to get you straightened out. For real this time. I want you with me for more than just five or six years V.” 

“Yeah… ‘course.” That warm sensation again. Fuck, he really loved her. 

She turned away from him, pulled him close against her back. “V, come here. Stay close to me.” 

He laid up against her, feeling her skin on his, he was content. She relaxed as she fell asleep. 

Fuckin’ preem he thought. Wonder what Johnny’d say about this? Or Jackie? He started to drift off as well. 

Then he saw it the wall, just beyond her. Another card. Fuck, this was getting’ old. 

The Hanged Man. 

“ _The Hanged Man is the card of sacrifice. It says that a price must be paid_ _in order to_ _achieve enlightenment. The Hanged Man's forsakenness opens the path for rebirth into a new life, though this path is wrought with pain suspended in time and ultimately ends in death_.” 


	13. The Star - Chapter 13

He opened his eyes. The image that had been on the wall was gone. He was feeling better than he’d felt in weeks. Panam was still in bed, he could feel her nude body, warm against his own. He smiled to himself, this was fuckin’ alright. 

Panam stirred next to him as she woke up. 

“V...?” She said. 

“Yeah...?” 

She turned to face him. “I could get used to this. I never imagined I’d be this happy. That I would have someone like you.” 

“Mmhmm.” He hugged her tightly, and then relaxed. “Me either. When I first got to Night City, I thought I’d end up runnin’ Afterlife. Power, money, I thought that kinda shit was gonna make me happy after I left the Bakkers. One thing I never thought I’d do was leave.” 

Panam smiled. “I felt the same way. When I left the Aldecaldos, I thought I was going to be the next Rogue. Then I got double crossed, again and again. Solo life in NC was breaking me down, I was not sure what I should do, I did not have anyone I could depend on. I thought maybe that is just how life is in Night City, that everyone is alone. Then you showed up V.” 

V nodded “For most people, that is life in Night City. They got nobody. All they can do is try and survive ‘till they get zeroed in some warehouse, or some parking lot. It’s no way to live.” 

Her face turned serious. “V, why did you do it? Why help me with Nash? You did not need to help us with Saul, that was a dangerous mission. And then after we saved Saul, you would not let me pay you for risking your life. Why?” 

V looked down, and that back at her. “Nash... I dunno. I’d just gotten double crossed by Dex, figured maybe I’d help you get some revenge since I never got the chance. You seemed like the hellraisin’ sort, my kinda people.” Then he smiled “’Sides, how could I say no to gettin' into trouble with someone like you.” 

Panam smiled, she looked pleased. 

V’s tone was sincere. “I helped with Saul ‘cause Hellman had just told me I was a fuckin’ dead man, there was no fixin’ that chip in my head. Jackie was dead, I had fuckin’ nobody left, was in a bad spot. I was thinkin’ about what happened to the Bakkers, saw what was happenin’ with the Aldecaldos. If Saul had gotten zeroed that woulda’ been it for you all. Thought maybe I’d try and do one good thing before checkin’ out. That’s why I didn’t take your eddies, Aldecaldos needed em more. Figured I didn’t have too long left, relic was getting' really bad. Eddies ain’t no good when you’re dead.” 

Panam looked a little shocked. “V... I had no idea. That is some dark shit.” 

V nodded. “It sure fuckin’ was. After that though, you started textin’ me, invitin’ me to hang out in camp. It felt like... bein’ with family again. Didn’t realize how much I missed it till I was sittin’ around that campfire with you and the veterans, drinkin, shootin the shit.” 

Panam nodded. “I’m glad to hear that V.” 

V hesitated, looked away. “Panam... when you were on my shoulder, pointin’ out the stars, it made me feel better than I’d felt in a long time. When I was with you, I felt ok, even though I knew I was dyin.’"

Panam sounded sad now. “You should have said something. You could have called me, talked to me. I would have listened.” 

V shrugged. “Yeah, should have, but I wasn’t thinkin’ straight.” He looked back to her “You know after that night, Carol fuckin’ sent me a threatenin’ text. Saying I better take care of you.” 

Panam looked upset. “Fucking Carol. Never minds her own business. Sorry about that V.” 

He laughed again, looked over at her. “S’ok. And you ended up takin’ care of me anyways.” 

Panam spoke, her voice was sad again. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? About Johnny? The relic? Why did you wait till you fucking blacked out?” 

V sat up, spun around, hung his legs over the side of the bed and looked at the floor. “Panam...I didn’t wanna scare you, I was worried you’d think I was crazy. Fuckin’ Night City, you know how it is. You tell people your dyin’ and they either want nothin’ to do with you, or they start wondering how many eddies they can scrap your corpse for.” 

She sounded hurt. “Ouch V, really? Is that what you thought of me? 

He shook his head. “Nah....I just... just liked the way things were going between us, I didn’t want to fuck it up. I was falling for ya’ bad. How was I supposed to know you’d say, ‘we’ll figure it out’ when I told ya’ I was dyin’.” 

He could feel Panam sit up in bed, then she spoke. “Telling me earlier would not have changed anything between us. I hope you realize that now.” 

She paused, and he felt her move towards him, she was close, just behind him. She put her hand on his side, slid it up to his chest, pulled him close to her. He could feel her breath on his neck as she continued. “V, I was falling for you too, I was not going to let some biochip stop that.” 

He took her hand in his, squeezed it, smiled to himself. “’Panam, you know you are the best thing that ever fucking happened to me, right?” 

“V... you sweet talking me again?” she said, laughing. 

V smiled, looked back at her. “A little. But it’s the truth. I fuckin’ love you Panam. And now I got these implants, more time. Thank you, you’ve been here for me through everything.” 

“And I will be here for anything else that happens, no matter what. I love you too V.” 

He reached back, put a hand on her thigh. “Panam... now you’ve given me an impulse.” 

She laughed, laid down, pulled him on top of her. “Fuck V, really? You must be feeling better?” 

“Mmhmm. Up for some more celebrating?” 

She looked deeply into his eyes, kissed him, held him close for a long time. They celebrated again. 

After they’d finished, they got dressed and headed into the hallway. Everyone else was in the dining hall, having breakfast, they could hear the friendly conversation. V entered the room with Panam, holding her hand. 

The mood was jovial. Mitch and Ortega were smoking cigars together, drinking beers. Dakota was laughing with the Maelstrom guys. The other two nomads were doing shots with the wives. As soon as everyone noticed V and Panam, the conversation stopped, and all eyes were on them. No one spoke. 

Mitch broke the silence finally. He had another one of those shit eatin’ grins. “You two… have a good night? Sleep ok? We heard some weird noises.” 

“Must have been the machinery down here” Oreta chipped in, laughing. 

Mitch was cracking a huge smile around his cigar, so was Ortega. Mitch looked drunk. 

Panam looked at Mitch, then at V, then back to Mitch. Her face turned red. “Fuck you, Mitch,” she said, laughing. 

Mitch laughed “’S’ ok. I’m happy for you both. Shit we all are. We’re celebratin’.” Mitch pointed at Ortega. “He’s alright. We been up mosta’ the night, tellin’ stories, shootin’ the shit. Me and Ortega though, we been talkin.’ He’s got a job for you. Important one.” 

Oretega looked at V now, his expression turned serious. “V, I have something very important to ask you. We are not just celebrating your second chance; we are celebrating mine. While Mitch was fixing your basilisk, I installed the Arasaka neural interfaces, and tested them. They work better than I’d expected. I’ve talked to my men. We’d like you to be the one to transfer Isabelle and myself into Labyrinth." 

V stammered. “I... uhh.. Dunno what know what to say.” 

Ortega continued. “We hope you will say yes. My men do not want the weight of such a task on their minds. You would be doing us all a favor.” 

“Ok..Sure. Yeah. Be honored too.” 

Ortega looked pleased. “Thank you, V. From me and Isabelle.” 

They spent the rest of the day eating, drinking, smoking, swapping stories. Close to sunset, Ortega headed towards the door. “It’s nearly time. V, I’d like to watch one last sunset. Would you like to join me?” 

“‘Course” He grabbed Panam’s hand, and they headed up to the warehouse. Ortega leaned up against the side of the building, his metal body was glowing yellowish orange in the sunlight. V saw an orange glow, smelled smoke as Ortega lit another cigar. 

“It is beautiful” Ortega said, looking at the horizon. “I should really have come up here more.” 

Panam headed towards the basilisk. “V, sit with me?” 

He nodded at her. “’Course.” 

Panam was in front of him as they headed to the basilisk. She stopped to look back, she was looking right in his eyes, beaming at him. Her skin was golden in the sunlight, and her messy hair was blowing in the wind. The sky was brilliant, full of reds, oranges, yellows, purples. Fuck, this was maybe the best desert sunset he’d ever seen. He stood there for a few seconds, taking everything in. Damn, she was fuckin’ beautiful. 

She called back to him. “V, you ok? Why did you stop?” 

He looked to the sunset and back to her. “Tryin’ to decide what’s more beautiful.” 

She laughed “V! You fucking sweet talk….” 

BOOOOOOOM! A gunshot. V heard the echo roll through the desert. Panam’s right leg disappeared in an explosion of red mist. 

V felt time stop. Fuck. Oh no. Fuck. Fuck Fuck. Not her. No. This can’t happen. Not now. 

Panam fell over, hit the ground hard. She looked up at him, her face full of shock. There was a large, red pool forming on the sand beneath her. 

“V…” She started crawling towards him. 

BOOOOOOM! There was a puff of dust next to her, another echo. The pool of blood was growing quickly. 

Her eyes were starting to lose focus. “V….” She sounded weaker as she continued towards him. 

BOOOOOOM! 

Her left arm disappeared, in another explosion of red mist. She fell sideways and her head hit the sand with a thump. The pool of blood on the sand was huge. 

V stood there in shock, not believing what he was seeing. She had stopped crawling now, but she turned her face up to look at him. She looked in his direction, but her eyes were out of focus. Her face was caked with blood and sand. She didn’t say anything. 

BOOOOOOM! Another puff of dust next to her. 

Just then, V felt something move past him. He saw Ortega briefly appear over Panam and pick her up. He saw a silverish blur, felt immense strength grab him, pull him inside the warehouse. The door shut behind them. He heard turrets spin up outside and begin firing. 

Ortega was silent, hovering over Panam, studying her. Her eyes were closed now. A torch appeared out of Ortega’s arm, he used it to cauterize Panam’s leg and arm. V saw a flash as Ortega scanned her. 

Ortega turned to V, his face grim. “V, she is gravely wounded, near death. Come here. Hold her, be with her. She does not have long, she wants to be with you. It will give her some comfort until the end.” 

He was still in shock. Stumbling, he headed towards Panam. Ortega took V’s hand and placed it on Panam’s face. 

She opened her eyes and looked into his eyes. “V…love …you.” She tried to smile. His saw her face, covered in blood and sand, and he lost it, completely. He choked up, burst into tears. Deep sobs shook his entire body. Her eyes closed. 

“Can’t you do somethin’?” He asked Ortega. V could barely speak through his sobs. “Anything? You got all this tech here.” 

“I cannot.” Ortega was looking sadly at Panam, “Her body is too weak. She would not survive anything I can do here.” His expression changed. “Unless…” 

Ortega turned to V. “You love her yes? You would do anything for her?” 

V nodded “‘Course. Anything for her.” 

Ortega’s voice was serious. “Would you sacrifice yourself for her?” 

V nodded, he didn’t even need to stop and think about it. “Fuck yeah. No question. I would.” 

Ortega nodded, and headed underground, carrying Panam. As he was walking, he turned to V. “I can transfer her mind into Labyrinth. With her mind secure, I can repair her body, and then transfer her back into it. She will need your help though.” 

“Do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.” V said. 

“V, her mind is unconditioned, she is in shock. The transition will be extraordinarily difficult for her. She will be overcome by her raw emotions, especially what she is feeling now. Terror, pain, helplessness. She will be awash in a sea of these feelings, and more. She cannot face the machine alone; death would be kinder for her. V, you will need to go with her. You are a construct; you have been inside Mikoshi. Your mind will not break for quite some time, even unconditioned.” 

“I’ll go in with her. ‘Course I will.” He knew she’d do the same for him. 

Ortega looked at V “I knew that you would go. But V, I do not know what will happen to you. I have never been able to retrieve a construct from the machine. You will likely be trapped forever. Eventually, you will break. If I cannot retrieve you, you will face what feels like millennia of suffering, alone. Are you sure you want to do this?” 

V nodded. “I’m sure.” 

They had arrived at the metal door, back in the lab. The others saw Panam and rushed into the hallway. 

“What the fuck happened?” Mitch asked. Dakota and the other nomads looked at Panam and burst into tears. 

Ortega spoke as the metal door opened. “Raffen attack. I was foolish, I should have been paying attention. This is my fault” Ortega looked at the former Maelstrom members. “The wraiths must pay for this. Exterminate them all.” They nodded and then two silverish blurs headed back towards the stairwell. V followed Ortega stepped into the airlock, and it cycled. 

The inner door closed behind them as Ortega set Panam down in front of one of the Labyrinth boxes and connected a cable with the word ‘ARASAKA’ on it to her personal link. He connected a cable to V’s link as well. 

“V, I must make the transfer at precisely the same moment. If you can find her, do whatever you can to remind her she is not alone in there. It will be the only way she will be able to survive. And remember, time functions differently in there. Are you ready?” 

“Fuckin’ do it.” He wasn’t quittin’ on Panam. Not after all she’d done for him. 

V felt a strange sensation, like he was being pulled out of his own head. 

Everything went black, and then turned brown. He heard a howl all around him, but he couldn’t see anything. And that howl, it sounded familiar. like… Fuck. What was that? Where had he heard it before? Then it dawned on him He was in a sandstorm, big one. Lightning split the sky, and thunder boomed all around him. This storm was more intense than anything he’d ever seen in the badlands. 

He looked down. His body appeared. Looked just as it always did. Wait, nope. Fuck. His body was flickering. 

An intense wave of terror washed over him. It started deep in his chest and spread to every part of him. Primal terror, like nothing he’d ever experienced, not even when he was facing death. It knocked him down, and he stumbled, fell onto his hands and knees. The sand stung his eyes, and the lightning and thunder roared overhead. 

“Panam” … he called out. 

Nothing. He heard only the sandstorm, the thunder. His eyes burned from the sand. Another wave of primal terror washed over him. Despair, helplessness now too. He began to weep uncontrollably and collapsed into the sand. 

Then he felt something, on his shoulder. Cold. Metal. He heard, felt a voice. It seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. “V...” 

He looked up, there was nothing there. What the fuck? Was his mind goin’ already? That voice... sounded familiar. But it wasn’t Panam. Sounded like fuckin’ Johnny. 

He peered ahead, into the sandstorm. He saw... Somethin’.... somethin’ orange. Flickering. He could smell something too. Cigarette smoke. He headed towards the smell, the flickering light. He saw… a hint of silver. He could barely make out a figure in the storm now. Dark hair, aviator sunglasses. Smoking a cigarette. It was fucking Johnny alright. 

That voice again. “V... Go after her…” 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Author’s note. I’ve designed this next part as a multimedia experience, it should sync up with the extended version of outsider no more linked below. For the best effect, listen with headphones in a dark room. Let me know if it works for you, or if its distracting.**

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2BbttZJCpc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2BbttZJCpc)

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

V stood up, wiped his eyes, and headed towards the orange light. The storm was getting worse, the sky was full of lightning, the thunder was non-stop. Johnny, or whoever the fuck that was, vanished. V looked frantically for the orange glow of the cigarette. 

Fuck, he had to be be losin’ it. Thought seein’ them cards was bad, but now he was seein’ fuckin’ Johnny. What next? 

Another wave of primal emotion rocked him, and he fell back onto his hands and knees. This was different, it wasn’t terror, or hopelessness. It was longing, desire. Like someone was crying out for him. He thought about what Johnny’d said, pulled himself up and peered into the dust storm. He saw another orange glow, in the distance. 

V walked towards it; he wasn’t sure how this storm was even possible. He had to lean into the wind to walk forward. There was so much lightning, it was practically daylight. The thunder was nearly constant. He kept pushing on, can’t give up. Panam would never quit on him. 

Then, he saw her, illuminated by lightning. She was face down in the sand, in a pool of blood, just as she had been when Ortega had scooped her up. Her arm and leg were gone, she was flickering, worse than he was. “Panam!” He yelled into the wind. No response. He kept walking until he was standing over her. 

“Panam!,” he yelled again… Still no response. She didn’t seem to know he was even standin’ there. 

Fuck. What the fuck was he supposed to do? 

He reached down, picked her up from the sand, started to carry her. He wasn’t sure where they were going. 

Her eyes opened, and she looked up at him. He heard her voice in his head now, it was quiet, weak “V….” Her eyes closed again. 

What did Ortega say? Remind her she wasn’t alone in here? How was he supposed to fuckin’ do that? 

“Panam…. I’m here… Here with ya’.” Her eyes opened, and she looked up again. She smiled. 

“Sweet... talker...” He heard her voice again in his head. It was stronger now. 

There was another orange glow in the distance, and he headed towards it, carrying Panam’s flickering body. He felt a strange sensation as she touched his face with her remaining hand. 

Her eyes closed again, and her hand went limp. 

V had to do somethin.’ But what? He was wracking his brain for ideas, when he saw it, between the lightning flashes. A building. He headed towards it, Panam motionless in his arms. 

The orange light wasn’t fading this time. Then he recognized the building. It was the fuckin’ Independent California Motel. Shit. 

Johnny was leaning on the wall next to the door, smoking a cigarette. Johnny looked at V, took a drag from his cigarette and nodded towards the door to the building. He heard Johnny’s voice is his head. “On behalf of the staff of the Independent California Motel, I wish you all sweet dreams.” 

Johnny disappeared as V entered the building. The interior was exactly as he remembered it that night in the dust storm. The fire was lit, he sat on the couch, and laid Panam’s head in his lap. The storm howled outside. 

Panam’s eyes opened, and she looked around. That voice in his head again. “V.... where are we? What’s happening...?” 

“We’re ok.” he said, looking down into her eyes. 

She looked back up at him. “V.... I...” 

V was hit by the most intense wave of emotions he’d experienced. Everything blacked out around him for a second. This was different though, there was no fear, no hopelessness. He felt love, content, desire, washing over him, it was like nothing he’d ever experienced. He almost wept, but not with fear. Shit, he didn’t know what the fuck was going on now. He closed his eyes for just a second. 

He felt Panam’s hand caress his face and he opened his eyes. She was still looking at him, still beaming. He spoke again. “I’m here Panam. Here for ya.’ I love you, can’t lose you now.” Another wave of love, content, washed over him, more intense than the first. He started weeping and saw tears in Panam’s flickering eyes as well. 

The storm intensified. He could hear the thunder and lightning crashing outside. The cabin shook, dust was blowing in through the cracks around the windows. He didn’t take his eyes of Panam. 

The lightning was constant, the thunder unrelenting. The cabin walls began to flex, the roof rippled. He heard creaking all around him. The walls were giving way, and the roof was starting to peel off. 

“Don’t worry choomba. Stay fuckin’ strong. Fuck this storm” Jackie. Shit, that was Jackie’s voice. 

Suddenly the walls of the cabin began to glow with an ethereal light. He saw images beginning to form, on the floor, ceiling, walls. All around him. 

He took his eyes off Panam just for second, just to see what was happening. 

Fuck Another Tarot card. What was it now? 

He studied one of the images around him. He recognized this card too; he’d seen at the spot he’d eventually leave NC from for the last time, on that radio tower. 

The Star. This one he knew by heart. 

_“The Star is the card of hope. In the darkest of nights there is a light that shines the path to home. The Star is inspiration, motivation and gives us strength to move forward.”_

He looked back at Panam, right into her eyes. She hadn’t ever stopped looking at him. Her hand was still on his face, she still had tears in her eyes. The whole room was illuminated in an otherworldly blue glow. He wasn’t sure how long they stared at each other like that, it felt like seconds and centuries at the same time. The storm was raging outside, but the cabin was holding steady now. He thought about everything that had led them here. That first ride in the desert together. Those beers at the sunset. That wonderful night at the Independent California Motel. When he’d called her, dyin’ at 3AM and she showed up no questions asked. Shit, he didn’t know it was possible to love someone like this. Everyone else had given up on him, but she never fuckin’ did. Never doubted him for a second. He smiled at her, and she smiled right back. 

Suddenly she was gone. 

The storm stopped, and then the entire cabin disappeared. 

Everything around him flashed black, and then came into focus again. He wasn’t in the desert now. Shit. He was back in Night City, sitting on that rooftop, back where he’d decided to call Panam, and storm ‘saka tower. 

Johnny was sitting on the railing, looking out over the city. 

It was dark, V could hear the sound of cars on the streets, the other sounds of the city below, could feel the rain on his face. 

Johnny spoke but didn’t turn around. “What did you get yourself into this time V? You didn’t do it for a girl did you?” 

V smiled, looked at the city, and then back to Johnny. “I think that makes two of us. Doin’ crazy shit for love. If I’m rememberin’ right, you stormed ‘saka Tower for Alt.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Johnny laughed. “Look at us V. Hopeless romantics. Who woulda’ thought? Was it worth it?” 

“Yeah...yeah I think it was...” 

Johnny smiled, walked over, and sat down next to V. “Cigarette V?” 

V nodded at Johnny. “Sure... Why not?” 

The cigarette lit itself as Johnny handed it to him. They sat there for a while, smoking, looking out over the city. V wondered if this was it, if this was how he was spending his eternity. 

Johnny finally spoke, he was still looking out over the city. “You take care of yourself V.” Then he vanished. 

V looked out at Night City, wondering how long until his mind would break. Or till Ortega powered off that machine. He took another drag off the cigarette. 

His vision swirled black again, and V felt a different sensation. Like he was being put back into his head. 

Something heavy on his shoulder now. Cold. Metal. 

“Hey there, V.” 

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Author’s note – Thank you for reading this long chapter. I hope I was able to convey V and Panam’s love for each other, how special having a connection like that is, especially in the dystopian future. You can put me in the hopeless romantic column along with Johnny** **Silverhand** **and V. And, no, we aren't done with this story yet.  
**


	14. The Star - Chapter 14

V opened his eyes; the world was swirling around him. He could hear voices but couldn’t make out anyone’s face. He squeezed his eyes shut, focused, opened them, and his surroundings slowly swam into focus. Panam was standing over him with her hand on his shoulder. Mitch, Dakota, and Ortega were looking down at him as well. 

Ortega spoke. “Welcome back V. You have been in the machine for days, alone. Did you see anything strange?” 

“Is that a fuckin’ joke?” V asked. 

Ortega smiled “I was monitoring your progress on the terminal; your mind was close to breaking. How did you keep it together? Anyone else would have gone insane.” 

“I...” V started “I... Dunno... I saw fuckin’ Johnny in there. Kept tellin’ me never quit, he led me through the storm, led me to Panam, then to some kinda shelter. And I heard Jackie too. Then it was just me and Johnny, in NC.” V look at Ortega. “I’m not sure what happened... Is Johnny... still in my head?” 

Ortega laughed “No, there were only ever two minds in the machine, yours and Panam’s. Perhaps your subconscious remembered Johnny’s determination and used it to guide you. Truthfully though, I do not know what you experienced. I have never seen anything like it. You are something special V.” 

Panam spoke up. “Can you all give us a minute? I need to talk to V.” 

“’Course.” Mitch nodded and left the room, everyone else followed him. 

She looked down at the floor for a second, then up at him. “V, I do not even know where to begin. What you just did for me, how am I ever supposed to make it up to you? Ortega told me what you risked, going in there. And you finally had more time! What were you fucking thinking?” 

He laughed. “Panam... I’d have been dead twice already at least if you not for you.” He grabbed her organic hand and looked up at her. ‘Sides, it’s not really livin’ without you is it?” 

She punched him lightly with her metal fist. “Always the fuckin’ sweet talker.” She paused, for a second, then continued. “V, in that building, or whatever that was, what happened?” 

“No fuckin idea. I just thought about you, about Jackie, Johnny. Everyone that told me never give up. Tell ya’ the truth I went in there not knowing what the fuck I was gonna do when I got there. All I know is you needed me, so I was goin’ in.” 

Her tone turned serious. “V... Thank you. I will make it up to you, somehow, I promise.” 

V shook his head; his voice was serious too. “You’ve done so much for me; you don’t owe me shit. I meant it when I said you’re the fucking best, I can’t lose you. Shit, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” 

Panam look flustered, her face turned red. “V... I.... Thanks.” 

He grabbed her metal hand, squeezed it. Then he looked at her leg, it was black, synthetic, similar to Mitch’s arm. Her arm was silver from the shoulder down.

"How you doin? You gettin' used to that chrome?” he asked her. 

She regained her composure, shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. Ortega's guys are good, they have been helping me out. It was tough the first couple days, but I am getting used to it. Ortega said I was so far gone he did not have time to grow me a new arm and leg. Considering what they are fucking made from, I think I prefer it this way.” 

He nodded at her. Then he spoke again, concern in his voice. “Panam...” 

She looked puzzled. “Yeah V? Everything ok?” 

He looked at her hand now. “You aren’t...” 

She sounded concerned now too. “V... spit it out. What is it? Is everything ok? You feel alright?” 

He grabbed her silver hand. “You aren’t gonna become a rockstar, raid Arasaka tower, get captured, and then end up inside my head, are you?” 

“Fuck you V! You had me worried.” she said, laughing. 

He slid his fingers between hers. “Panam Silverhand... What do you think?” 

“I think you had better never call me that again, or you will regret it.” 

V’s vision swirled, he got dizzy. 

Panam’s hand on his shoulder again. “V, you ok?” 

“Yeah... just. I’m fuckin’ starving. I’m so hungry my head’s spinnin. How long was I in there without you?’” 

“About a week. Ortega hooked you up to a nutrient drip, but you have not had any real food in a while.” Then she stopped, smiled at him. “We’ve got something for you.” She walked to the door, said something to Ortega, V couldn’t hear what it was. 

Ortega voice came from the hallway. “I’ve got another feast for you. This one should be more palatable. V you haven’t eaten in days, please, come into the mess hall.” 

V looked at Panam “You know about this? What’s he talking about?” 

She pulled him out of the chair, and towards the door. “Come on, it’s a surprise, you’ll see. Do you think you can walk?” 

V nodded, got out of the chair. He almost fell over, but she caught him. 

She smiled. “I got you V. Come on.” 

He leaned on her the entire way to the dining hall. Each chair had a plate with a metal cover over it. Everyone else was already seated, Panam helped him into one of the chairs. 

“Please, sit, I hope you will enjoy dinner.” 

V sat down next to Panam and took the cover off his plate. Chicken dinner. Mashed potatoes. Fuckin Mac N’ Cheezus. 

He looked at Ortega. “Is this....” 

Ortega shook his head. “It’s not what you think. Once it became apparent, we’d be able to save you, I had it delivered using my connections with the Voodoo Boys. I did not synthesize this here.” 

“The Voodoo Boys... fuckin’ deliver?” V asked, astonished. 

Ortega smiled now “I traded probably two million eurodollars worth of tech for it. Eat your fill, I have plenty, this is not all of it. V though, we did have a deal. Now that you are saved, I hope you would still do me the honor of finally transferring Isabelle and myself. We are happy for you both, but we are anxious to be together.” Ortega broke out another bottle and shot glasses, circled the room. “Let’s have one last toast. To perseverance!” 

Everyone spent the next few hours eating, drinking, smoking, telling stories. V was thinking this was probably the best meal he’d ever had. The whole time he was eating, Panam was stealing looks at him, smiling to herself. 

Finally, he asked her “Everything ok?” 

A bigger smile now, she was grinning from ear to ear. “Yes..., just happy. Happy we have each other. I love you V.” 

The room went silent after that. Panam looked around, blushed. 

Mitch shook his head and broke the silence. “I can’t say I feel exactly like she does, but thanks, V. You’re a fuckin’ brother, a real Aldecaldo . We got out of Night City raiding ‘saka tower, and now you saved Panam. Saul, Scorpion, the others, they’d be proud of what you did. You ever need anything, anything at all, you fucking let me know. I said we’d go through hell and back for ya,’ and that’s fuckin’ truer now than ever.” 

Dakota and the other nomads nodded in agreement; their faces were solemn. 

“I... uhh...” He didn’t know what to say to that. “Thanks Mitch.” 

Mitch nodded, and continued. “And V...” 

“Yeah Mitch?” 

“Would you give that girl a kiss? We all see her smiling at ya.’ Don’t be a gonk.” 

“Mitch!” Panam yelled, but she was looking at V. 

V leaned over, pulled Panam close for a kiss. As he did, V could hear bottles and glasses clinking together, and the whole room erupted in hoots and hollers, Ortega even joined in. 

As the noise. died down, Mitch spoke again. “When you were in the machine, I called camp, told em’ what you did. Me n’ the other veterans, we decided that if you got out of there, we’d want you to be part of our leadership. Panam here still will get the last word, but you’d be able to vote on stuff concernin’ the family. But the family, they will depend on you. What do you think V? You interested?” 

V looked around; all eyes were on him. “Mitch...” He looked down at the table, then around the room. “’Course. Be an’ honor. I won’t let you down, not after everything you all did for me.” 

The room erupted in more hoots and hollers. Panam clapped him on the back with her metal hand. Everyone spent a few more hours eating, relaxing, telling stories. 

Eventually, Ortega stood, walked over to V, and placed his hand on V’s back. He looked at V. “V, are you ready?” 

V nodded. “Are you?” 

“I am. Let us proceed.” He addressed the Maelstrom men and their wives “Thank you for your work. I hope this facility serves you well. Take care of yourselves.” There were tears in the eyes of the wives, and he heard one of the Maelstrom guys stifle a sob. 

“You too Sebastian. Thank you.” the other one answered, in a metallic voice. 

Ortega nodded at his men and said “Remember, this is not goodbye..” He left the room; V was right behind him. 

They entered through the airlock again. Ortega hooked up one cable to the vat and the other to his personal link. V looked at the letters on the cables ‘ARASAKA.’ 

Ortega handed him two switches. 

“V, all you must do is hit these switches at precisely the same moment. I’ve automated everything else. Once the process is complete, please connect the cable next to the computer to your personal link. Isabelle and I have something we would like to show you.” 

Ortega walked over to the vat and sat down next to it. He nodded at V, looked him right in the eyes. “Do it.” Ortega said, and his gaze went to the ceiling. A huge smile formed on his face. 

V nodded back. He hit the switches, and the light in Ortega’s eyes went out. His body went limp, but he was still smiling. The vat flashed orange, then red, then green. 

Shit, did it work? He looked around the room for any kind of sign. After a while, he noticed flashing green text on the box the Arasaka cables were connected to. He read the text. ‘SUCCESS.’ 

He looked around the room for a few minutes, everything seemed to be in order. V walked over to the computer, found the cable Ortega mentioned, and connected it to his link. 

As soon as he connected the cable, an image appeared in his mind. It was a stocky looking man and a beautiful woman. Behind them was the deep blue desert sky, and both were grinning from ear to ear. He heard two voices in his mind, one was the same feminine voice from before. The other was Ortega but different, more human. “Thank you, V, from both of us. Take care of yourself.” He waited a bit, disconnected the cable, walked out of the room through the airlock, and back into the mess hall. 

“V, how’d it go? Everything go ok?” Mitch asked. 

V nodded “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just a lot of shit to process” 

Mitch nodded “Yeah I bet.” 

V had an idea. “Mitch, I’ll be right back” He went and got another bottle of liquor, circled the table with it. 

Once the glasses were all filled, V spoke. “Ortega seemed like he loved his toasts, so let's give him one. To Sebastian! Thanks for everything buddy!.” Everyone downed their shots, and sat there awhile in silence, thinking about everything that had happened. 

Eventually, Mitch spoke up. “We should get back to camp, we been gone awhile.” 

Panam chimed in “Yes, let us get back.” 

The Maelstrom guys nodded, got up, led them back through the complex, to the warehouse. As they were leaving, V noticed the protein re-processer room was packed full of bodies. 

Once they were outside, one of the maelstrom guys spoke up. “We’ve upgraded your tank. Outfitted it with cloaking tech, improved the weapons, reinforced the armor. It will be formidable in combat.” 

The other spoke now. “We would also like to give you a gift, for what you did for Sebastian. He had a custom basilisk, a newer model than yours. We’d like you to take it. We’ve also given you some Storm Tech equipment.” 

“Uhh - thanks.” V said. He didn’t know what else to say. 

They all went together to inspect the custom Basilisk, as well as their modified one. 

“Shit, this thing’s nuts.” Mitch said, looking at Ortega’s machine. “Hard to tell in the dark, but it looks like twin railguns, twin autocannons, plus the main cannon and artillery.” 

Dakota nodded. “Holy shit yeah! We are gonna be untouchable with this thing.” 

The Maelstrom man nodded. “It served him well. We hope it does the same for you.” 

Panam spoke “Mitch, you are our best tank pilot. You and Dakota take Ortega’s tank. V and I will use the other one. We can tow the quadros. She looked at the other two nomads “You two take my truck, but be careful, you do not want to know what will happen to you if you wreck it.” 

Everyone said their goodbyes to Ortega's men and their wives and left the complex. The started back to camp, once again in a little caravan. 

Panam and V rode in silence for a while, digesting everything. V was looking at the strange effect Mitch’s cloaking field was having on the starlight, the light seemed to be bending around the tank. Panam was looking straight ahead. 

Finally, Panam spoke “V?” 

“Yeah, what’s up.” 

“This is going to sound crazy. Don’t laugh.” She was hesitant. 

“You kiddin’? After all this crazy fuckin shit? What is it?” 

She turned to look at him. “In that cabin, or that machine, whatever the fuck it was, I think I was feeling your emotions. I was so scared, I felt so alone. I wanted you... Shit V, I just... just needed you with me. I do not know how to describe it. Could you... feel mine?” 

He nodded. “I could... It's what kept me together. I was close to losin’ it in there. Then ... I think I could feel you wantin’ me. And I kept goin.’ For you.” 

“Did you... did you feel anything in the cabin?” She was looking down now, she looked a little embarrassed. 

He reached for her hand, took it in his. She lifted her head to look at him. “Sure did Panam. When we were lookin’ in each other’s eyes, I felt it. It was like nothin’ else.” 

She looked up at him, smiled. “I felt it too. First when you were carrying me toward that cabin, then again once we were inside.” She looked down again. “V... Did that... did that scare you?” 

“‘Course not. Why would it?” The he frowned. “Why, did it scare you?” 

She shook her head. “No, it is not that.” 

V noticed she had a hint of tears in her eyes. “Panam... everything ok?” 

She nodded. “Yes, fine..., it is just...” She looked away for a few seconds, then back to him. “I just need to be next to you right now.” 

Panam clicked the tank on autopilot, slid over the center console, and into the seat next to him. She laid on her side, draped her arm over his chest and put her head on his shoulder. They rode for a while like that, not saying anything. V felt that familiar warm sensation in his chest. 

Finally, she looked up at him “V, I do not know what to say. I cannot believe what you did for me. You finally had more time and you fucking risked it for me. I’m just so lucky to have you. I love you so much!” She pulled him close, gave him a kiss. 

“Panam... I” He stammered, didn’t know what to fuckin’ say. “I feel the same way. Shit, I... “He was still struggling to find the right words when his radio beeped. 

Mitch’s voice. “Your radio is on.” Laughter came through over the radio. 

Dakota spoke. “That was fuckin ‘sweet though.” More laughter. 

“Fuck ‘em.” V said and reached down to pull Panam in for a kiss. “Love you too Panam.” 

The rest of the journey was uneventful, everyone was telling stories over the radio. Mitch talked about more shit him and Scorpion did, and V talked about the trouble he got into with Jackie. Panam spent the whole trip sharing the basilisk seat with V, her head on his shoulder. He had that warm sensation in his chest the whole way back. 

Before they knew it, they were back at camp. They stopped, popped open the top of the basilisk, and hopped out. All eyes were on V and Panam. 

She spoke. “What are you gonks fucking looking at? Let us pack this up.” 

For the next three years, the Aldecaldos ruled the southwest. They had so many members V didn’t know em’ all. He and Panam grew somehow even closer. She was a compassionate, competent leader, and now that he was feeling better, his netrunning skills were unmatched. Soon the Aldecaldos were getting requested even over Snake Nation for big jobs. They kept trying to find a more permanent solution to his issue, but nothing materialized. 

And there was that constant thought, in the back of his mind. Still runnin’ outta time. 

Then it happened. They were just getting back from moving stolen tech through Nevada, V was getting out of the basilisk. His vision blacked out, and he fell over. He felt his nose. Blood. 

Panam ran over to him. “V! Are you ok? You are bleeding.” 

He wiped the blood from his face. “Yeah, fine.” 

Panam put her arm around him. “V, we will find something. We’ll look harder.” 

V shook his head. “Panam... You’ve already done so much for me... It’s ok.” 

She grabbed his hand and looked at him, her expression serious. “We will find something. We have just gotten some new leads. We will never quit V.” 

Just then his holo beeped. 

“V. How are you doing? It is a pleasure to finally speak with you.” 

A shadowy figure appeared on his holo. A message was coming through. 

“V, I’ve been monitoring everything. I was watching you and Ms. Palmer inside of our machine, saw everything that happened. We have been monitoring your condition for years, via your implants. V, I’d like to make you a deal. We think we can save you. Can you get to Idaho in a week?” 

“Who is this?” V said into the holo. “What do you mean you were fuckin’ watchin’ me? Monitoring me? Just who the fuck do you think you are.?” 

The voice again “V, I’m a little disappointed you didn’t guess. I represent StormTech. I’m sending you my number. Contact me if you can figure out how to get here.”


	15. The Star - Chapter 15

Mitch noticed what was happening and headed over. “Everything alright?” Mitch asked. “You look a little spooked. And you’re bleedin'.” 

V nodded. “I'm ok. Just got a strange call on the holo.” 

Panam spoke up. “From whom?” 

“Stormtech. Said they could save me, wanted to know if I’d take a deal. But they said we gotta be in Idaho in a week.” 

“What kinda deal?” Mitch asked. 

V frowned. “No idea, they wouldn’t say unless I could get a ride.” 

Panam frowned. “A week? Do they know where we are at? We might make it, but it will be close. And our vehicles are designed for the desert. I do not know if we can cross the mountains. Of course, we will try V. But it would be easier if we had...” 

“A hoverplane. That’s what we need, a fuckin’ hoverplane.” Mitch spoke up. 

“Mitch, are you drunk?” Panam asked. “Where are we going to get a hoverplane way the fuck out here, and who is going to be crazy enough to fly us to Idaho?” 

“A hoverplane... I got just the guy.” Mitch pulled out his phone. “Hey, yeah its Mitch. Yep, with the Aldecaldos. Yeah, he’s here too. Listen, I got a favor to ask, can you get to this location with your plane? I’m sendin’ coords’ now.” 

V heard a man's voice laughing from the phone. “You want me to go where?” More laughter. “Why?” 

“That aint all. We need you to take us up to Idaho. In the mountains.” 

More laughter from the phone. “Are you fuckin’ high?” 

Shit V thought, that voice sounds familiar. But who was it? 

Mitch again. “Listen, V needs help, and you don’t need to come right now. But if we need you, can you make it?” 

The laughter stopped. “Ok. Yeah, I can. V helped me get my shit together, I owe him. You let me know when, and I will be there.” 

“Who was that?” V asked. He was trying to think who he’d know that would have a hoverplane. 

“You’ll see” Mitch said. “Call Stormtech back. Tell em we got a ride. Let’s hear their deal.” 

V dialed the number he’ d been given and put his phone on speaker. 

The same male voice on the other end. “That was quick V. Nice to see you are as connected as I’d heard. I assume you have a ride, or you wouldn’t have called. Would you like to hear the deal?” 

V looked around the room. “Yeah, let’s hear it.” 

“V, I think we can save your life, but once I tell you how, Arasaka will come for you. We believe they have been intercepting our communications. They do not know what we are working on yet, but once I tell you, they will. It will take them a few days to break our encryption, and learn of our discussion, but they will come. It is critical that you leave as soon as possible after this conversation. Even if you do not accept the deal, you will be on the run from Arasaka for the rest of your life. Do you understand?” 

Panam spoke up. “Arasaka? I thought they were in ruins when we left NC.” 

The voice from the phone. “That is not true. Arasaka wanted you to break in, to upload Alt to Mikoshi.” 

“Why? She killed all those people?” V asked. 

The voice continued. “That was a small price to pay for them to enslave an AI from beyond the Blackwall. Mikoshi was not designed just to hold engrams. Its original purpose was to hold an AI. With Alt, they are stronger than ever.” 

V gasped. “Holy shit. Alt... Johnny...all those people in the secure your soul program.” 

“Slaves to Saburo Arasaka.. Not even Ortega knew it, but Saburo is alive, in Mikoshi. Soon they will be unstoppable, no amount of ICE will be able to protect us from them. This is where you come in V.” 

V was flustered. “What does all this AI shit have to do with me? I don’t get it.” 

“Sebastian told you about our experiments with curing cyber-psychosis. He didn’t know it, but there is another, experimental branch of that project. We have been having trouble finding test subjects though.” 

“I’m not followin.” V said. He didn’t like where this was heading. 

“V, I think that we can help each other. We need someone that has been Soulkilled; as you can imagine subjects are hard to find. If we can study Soulkiller, how it has affected you, we can reverse engineer Arasaka’s encryption algorithms and get through their ICE. This will let us fight back against them, and you will get what you have been looking for. A real cure. V, we can save you, cure you permanently.” 

V dropped his phone. 

The voice from the phone. “V, are you still there?” 

He picked up the phone. “Yeah, I’m here. How are you gonna cure me? Ortega knew his shit and he said it was impossible.” 

The voice laughed. “Ortega was brilliant, but he didn't know everything we were doing. He only knew what he had to. Our research is theoretical, but I saw what happened with you and Ms. Palmer in the machine at Ortega’s, it was remarkable. We think this gives you both a good chance of surviving the procedure.” 

“A good chance? What’s that mean?” How fuckin’ good?” V yelled into the phone. 

The voice again, it was eerily calm. "Better than your chances of surviving the relic, raiding Arasaka Tower, finding Ortega, or surviving our machine as an engram. These are your best odds yet V.” 

“Ok, let's say I accept. How are you gonna to do it?” 

The voice again. “You are an engram, its remarkable you’ve lived this long, but you can never survive in a human body permanently.” 

V looked at Panam, shrugged. “Are you gonna make me some kinda robot body?” 

The voice laughed. “V don’t be ridiculous. Of course not. Trust me, we have tried, you would not want to live like that.” 

Panam spoke. “Are you going to grow him a new body?” 

The voice laughed again. “No, that is still beyond us. We can grow the tissue, but we cannot transfer a consciousness into a brand-new body, the mind never survives the trip. We may be able to eventually, but V, you do not have that kind of time.” 

V was running out of ideas. “Ok, spit it out then. What’s the plan?” 

“V, we can cure you, but it will be much more difficult than curing cyber-psychosis. After all, Ortega was still human. You are a machine. Ms. Palmer will need to sacrifice part of herself to save you. Call it her spirit, her essence, her soul, whatever you wish. This will plant a seed of humanity into your mind. Eventually, that seed will grow, replacing the parts of you that have been Soulkilled. You will not be the same as you were before the relic, but you will live. Ms. Palmer will also be changed forever. And like Ortega and Isabelle, neither of you can survive if the other dies. Let me reiterate, this procedure is dangerous, and untested. We hope that you will agree to proceed, but we understand if you do not want to take that risk. If either of you has any doubts about each other, even subconsciously, the procedure will fail, and you will both die, or go insane.” 

He looked at Panam, neither of them spoke. 

The voice on the phone again. “We will study the entire process; we will learn much if it is successful. But V, think it over, discuss it with Ms. Palmer. Decide quickly though, Arasaka will be after you now. You know too much.” 

There was a click as the phone disconnected. 

Panam was looking at him. “V, you know you cannot stop me from doing this right? If not for you I would have died at Ortega’s.” 

V looked down, shook his head. “If not for me, you wouldn’t have been there. I can’t ask you do this for me. It’s ok, Panam. You heard him; you’d be changed forever. We got a lotta weapons, lotta tech, I think even with Arasaka after us we’d be ok. Nobody knows this desert like us.” 

He felt her metal hand on his shoulder. “V, you are not asking me. I want to do this. Neither of us could have gotten here without the other.” She lifted his head up, looked him in the eyes. “Besides V, you’ve already changed me forever.” 

He didn’t know what to say to that. Shit he loved her. She’d already done so much, and now she was ready to do this. He pulled her in for a kiss. “Thank you Panam. I love you.” 

She smiled at him. “I love you too. But V...” She reached into his pocket, grabbed his phone, handed it to him. “Make the call. Let us finish this.” 

V dialed the number again. 

The same voice on the phone. “V, that was quick. What did you decide?” 

“We accept your deal. We’re on the way.” 

“Perfect. I’ll prep our equipment.” Another click as the phone disconnected. 

Panam looked at Mitch. “Call your guy, let's get to Idaho.” 

“You got it.” Mitch picked up his phone. “Yeah, It’s Mitch again. When can you get here? Oh, shit really? Perfect. Thank you!” 

Mitch looked a V and Panam. “He headed this way after our first call. He’ll be here in about thirty.” 

“Mitch, who is this fuckin’ guy? How’d you pull this off?” V asked again. 

Mitch laughed. “V, he likes to make an entrance. He wants it to be a surprise.” 

Panam and V walked around camp, letting everyone know their plan. After saying their goodbyes, Panam grabbed V’s hand, pulled him into the command tent. Mitch and Dakota were seated at a table. 

Panam addressed Mitch and Dakota. “You two will be in charge while we are gone. It sounds like we have good odds, but if V and I do not come back, take care of the family.” 

Mitch nodded. “Couse. You got it. You take care of yourselves up there in Idaho.” 

Panam again “And Mitch...” 

Mitch’s face looked concerned. “Yeah? What is it? We will keep the family strong Panam. Don’t worry” 

She shook her head. “No, it is not that. Your basilisk? Does it need to be tuned up?” 

Mitch looked confused. “I don’t think so. Maybe... I’ll check it out.” 

Panam looked at Dakota, and back to Mitch, and laughed. “I heard some funny noises coming from it last night is all.” 

Mitch cracked a grin, Dakota looked down at the table. Mitch grabbed her hand. 

“Har har, laugh it up.” Dakota said, then she looked up. “But we will look out for the family. We know you gotta do this. We will be here, rootin’ for ya.” 

Then everyone heard a faint sound. 

BOOOOOOM 

Panam tilted her head, listening. She looked at V, he shook his head. 

Then again, louder now. 

BOOOOOM. BOOOOM 

“Gunshots” Dakota said. Then she shook her head. “Wait... no...” 

BOOOM BOOM BOOOM BOOM BOOOOM 

What the fuck was it? He recognized the rhythm. He looked at Panam. She shook her head as well. 

BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOM BOOOOM BOOOM. More background noise too. Was that... A guitar. Shit, he was hearin’ Chippin’ In. Johnnys old song. 

The plane’s hoverjets kicked up sand as it landed just outside camp. Everyone in camp was looking at it, puzzled. 

Strobe lights started flashing. Chippin’ In was blaring across the desert. V almost had to put his hands over his ears it was so loud. Mitch, Dakota and Panam headed out to join the rest of the camp, V followed shortly after. He wasn’t sure how to process what he was seeing. 

It looked like.... like a fuckin’ rock concert. Then Chippin' in stopped, the lights stopped flashing. The airplane door slid open, and smoke flowed out of it. A figured appeared, started walking down the ramp out of the plane, through the smoke. V could barely make out a bottle of liquor in the figure’s hand. 

V was trying to figure out who this guy was. Who fuckin’ does this? 

The figure looked around, saw V, and started walking over, out of the smoke. V could see it was a man now. 

As the man got closer, he spoke. “Hey V. Been awhile. How you doin’?” 

Shit, he knew that voice. It was fuckin’ Kerry, he looked a little drunk. 

V laughed. “Kerry... holy shit.” Then V looked at the plane. “Was all that necessary?” 

Kerry took a swig from the bottle. “Yeah man. ‘Course. You know me.” 

V looked at Kerry and laughed. “Yeah, I guess I wouldn’t expect anything else.” V looked over at Panam. “Kerry, this is Panam.” 

Panam spoke, she sounded sincere “Thanks Kerry. For showing up with that plane. We appreciate it. You saved our asses.” 

Kerry eyed Panam from head to toe. 

“This your fuckin’ output?” Kerry looked pleased. “Nice V. You have good taste.” Kerry took another swig from the bottle. 

Panam looked like she was going to punch Kerry. “Output? Did you call me his fucking output? Who the fuck do you think...?” 

V cut her off. “It’s cool. Kerry will grow on you. He does take a little gettin' used to.” 

Panam still looked like she was ready to punch Kerry. 

Kerry smiled. “Anything for V. If not for him, I’d still be drinkin’ away my sorrows, livin’ in the past.” Kerry looked back at the plane. “We gonna delta or what? Heard you’re in a hurry.” 

Panam looked at Dakota and Mitch, Mitch was laughing, Dakota looked shocked. 

She addressed them both. “Take care of the family.” 

Dakota nodded. “You got it boss.” 

V looked at Kerry and grabbed Panam’s hand. “Let's delta.” 

Kerry took another swig from the bottle and threw at the ground. It shattered. “Let’s fuckin’ delta!” 


	16. The Star - Chapter 16

V grabbed Panam’s hand and followed Kerry up ramp the into the hover plane. At the top of the ramp, they turned and took one last look over the camp. Everyone in the camp was outside, looking at the hoverplane. 

V heard gunshots as everyone fired their rifles into the air. 

“You guys fuckin got this!” Mitch and Dakota yelled together. Oranges flashes appeared as everyone lit torches. More gunshots into the air. Then V heard engines revving, he could smell the exhaust. The sounds mixed together, rolled, and echoed throughout the desert. They heard other voices from the crowd now too, yelling words of encouragement. 

V stood there with Panam awhile, taking it all in. The gunshots, engines and voices were booming through the desert. Then he spoke “You ask them to do this?” 

She smiled and shook her head; she was still looking at the camp. “I did not.” 

Kerry spoke up, he looked impressed. “This who you’ve been hanging with V? Nice, my kinda people.” 

V could hear the engines revving and gunshots as the ramp closed behind him. As the plane took off and they started traveling towards the horizon, the sounds dimmed, and the torches on the ground faded away. 

Kerry hugged him. “V, it’s good to see you. Been awhile. You want the tour? It’s gonna be six or seven hours to get there, we gotta fly around the mountains. I got drugs, booze if you wanna pass the time. Brought some joytoys too.” 

Panam looked like she was going to punch Kerry again. 

Kerry looked at Panam and laughed “Ok, maybe no Joytoys. Check out this plane though, this thing is fuckin’ nice. I got someone else wants to see you too.” 

There was one large circular room, and smaller rooms off it. In the middle of the largest room was a circular aquarium, full of exotic fish. The walls were dark grey, gold trimmed, and the lighting was dim. There was a bar with a woman and a man standing behind it. Kerry was looking proud. “Preem, right? Those fish are all illegal.” 

Just then a cat appeared from behind the bar. Kerry laughed “Vic said this fuckin’ cat was howling for days after you left NC. I decided to take him, I needed the company.” The cat ran over, rubbed its head on V’s leg, he reached down to pet it. 

“Fuckin’ Nibbles. Never thought I’d see you again.” V laughed then looked up at Kerry. “How’d you pull this off?” 

“After I went on that NUSA tour with Us Cracks, I blew up. We’ve been on a worldwide tour. I got more money than I know what to do with.” 

Kerry shook his head, looked at V and laughed “And to think we fucking blew up their fuckin’ van. Then we broke into Riot, threatening ‘em.” 

Panam looked shocked “V, what the fuck? You gonks blew up a van? And broke into Riot?” 

“And blew up a yacht” Kerry chipped in. 

“How the fuck did you blow up a yacht?” Panam asked. 

“Dynamite” Kerry looked puzzled. “How the fuck else would you do it?” 

V looked at Kerry and laughed. “Me ‘n Kerry, we got into some shit for sure.” 

Kerry’s face turned serious. “Yeah, we did, but V, you helped me get my shit together. I probably woulda’ gotten arrested that night at Riot if you hadn’t talked me down. I’ve been talkin’ to Mitch on and off the last few years, he’s been keeping me updated on how you are doin. Then I’ll tell Vic, or Misty, or whoever.” Kerry looked at Panam. “You got some good people here V. Did you good get to get outta NC.” 

V looked at Panam, smiled at her. “Yeah, I guess I fuckin’ do.” 

Panam spoke up. “Wait, how do you know Mitch?” 

“Through Vic. Lotta people have been wonderin’ what happened you V. They heard you rode off into the sunset three years ago. Mama Welles still wants you to stop by for dinner you know. I talked to that Alvarez girl a couple times too, she’s up in Oregan, runs some kinda shop. She was wishin ya’ well too.” 

Panam looked at V, “Alavarez girl? V, what the fuck is he talking about? Who is she?” 

Kerry looked at Panam and laughed “Nah, nothin like that, she likes the ladies. She’s just wants to be sure you’re doin’ ok V. Everyone does.” 

“I...” V started. 

Kerry cut him off. “You got a lotta people out of some real shit V. They haven’t forgotten.” 

Kerry looked to Panam. “Sorry about the output shit. I got an image to maintain. You get it?” 

Panam’s expression softened a bit. “Do not worry about it.” Then she continued “But do not call me his fucking output again!” 

“Course not” Kerry said, smiling, and then the gestured to the bar. “Heard you guys are headin’ into the shit. You want a couple drinks first? Calms the nerves. I got the good stuff too. Also got a pizza with locust pepperoni. Your favorite V.” 

Shit, V thought, that pizza sounded pretty fuckin’ good. 

“I sure could use a fucking drink. I do not think I will ever like that locust pepperoni though.” Panam said as she headed to the bar. 

Kerry smiled at Panam. “I got other shit. I heard you like pierogis.” 

Panam’s eyes lit up. “It has been so fucking long since I’ve had them!” 

Kerry pointed at a box on the bar, and Panam rushed over to it, opening it, started eating. Nibbles jumped onto the bar, climbed into Panam’s lap. 

Kerry smiled. “Nibbles fuckin’ knows when he’s with good people.” Then he looked at V. “How about it, you hungry? Want some beer? Pizza?” 

V smiled now. “Yeah, sounds great. Thanks Kerry.” They sat at the bar for a couple hours, catching up, trading stories, drinking beers, eating pizza. V didn’t understand what was so great about those pierogis though. 

After a while, Panam got up from the bar, headed into one of the bedrooms. “V, we should probably rest up a bit before we get there. Who knows what we will find?” 

V looked at Kerry “You mind?” 

Kerry shook his head. “V, girl like that asks you to go in the bedroom, you fuckin’ follow her.” Then he motioned to the bartenders. Nibbles jumped into Kerry’s lap. “I got company here. Go, rest up.” 

V nodded and headed into the bedroom. Panam was looking out the window at the mountains. “V, I have never been this far north. The mountains are beautiful. I have never seen anything like it. Have you?” 

V walked up to the window, grabbed Panam’s hand. The mountains were beautiful, the sun was just starting to disappear over the horizon. This was no desert sunset though, the sun was an orange blotch on the horizon, and the sky was burnt orange, purple and blue. The snow covering the mountains seemed to glow with the same colors. He looked at the mountains, back to Panam, and then at the windows. “Nah. That is fuckin’ somethin’ alright. I still can’t decide though.” 

She looked worried “Can’t decide what? V are you having second thought about all this?” 

“Can’t decide if you or the mountains is more beautiful.” 

She slapped him on the back. “Fuck you V! You ever going to stop that shit? It has been years now.” 

“Did it ever stop workin?’” 

She smiled and gave him a kiss. “No, I do not think it will ever stop working.” 

V walked over to the bed and sat down. “Panam.... I can’t believe you’re riskin’ who know what, for me, again.” 

She walked over and sat down next to him. “V, when are you going to learn? I’m here for you. I love you. No matter what. I don’t care if we have to go to Idaho or the fucking moon. Nothing can change that.” She put her metal arm around him. “You got it? Nothing.” 

“You’re too good to me Panam. Shit, I love you too.” 

She smiled at him, pulled him in for a kiss. “Come here you gonk. Let’s get some rest.” They both laid down, and she pulled him close. He got a few hours of restless sleep, he felt Panam stirring too. 

He heard the door open, Kerry’s voice. “Pilot says we’re about there. You ready?” 

“Yeah, let’s delta.” V got out of bed. Panam was right behind him. He walked out into the central room and over to the window. The plane’s lamps illuminated the ground as they landed, he was looking at the hoverplane’s jets kick up snow. The ramp opened, and frigid air blew into the plane. 

V looked at Kerry and started down the ramp with Panam’s hand in his. “Thanks Kerry.” 

“No problem V. We’ll be waiting. Stormtech won’t let us leave until you are done.” 

“That ok with you?” 

Kerry laughed “I got a plane full of drugs and booze. And two joytoys. I’ll be fine.” His face turned serous. “You two though, good luck in there. We’re all rooting for you.” 

V stepped off the bottom of the ramp and it closed behind him. It was cold, the wind stung his face. Panam was just behind him, they were in front of a massive, concrete building, with no identifying marks on it. An arrow lit up on the ground, pointing to a door. 

There were what looked like intercom speakers next to the path. That same male voice from the phone came from one of them. “V, Ms. Palmer. Follow the arrows. I’ll let you in.” 

He looked at Panam, grabbed her hand. “Ready?” 

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Let us get you cured V.” 

The door slid open as he approached. The interior was brightly lit, immaculately clean. The walls, ceiling and doors were all bright white, same as Ortega’s lab. He looked around but didn’t see anyone. There were intercom boxes similar to the one he’d seen outside spaced out along the hallway. Both sides of the hallway were also lined with doors. 

“Hello?” he said. The only thing he heard was his own voice, echoing back at him. 

Panam looked at him and shrugged. 

Another voice from an intercom. “V, follow the arrows. Get in the elevator. Don’t bother checking the other rooms, you can’t get in.” 

More arrows lit up on the floor, leading thirty or so feet down the hallway, then disappearing around a corner. 

Panam shrugged again. “We have come this far.” She grabbed his hand and started down the hallway. 

They went to the corner, and saw more arrows going down another pristine white hallway, identical to the one they were in. These also went about thirty feet and disappeared down a corridor. He felt Panam squeeze his hand, and she started walking more quickly. 

They repeated this process four or five more times, until they arrived at an elevator. As they arrived, the steel doors slid open. He went in first, Panam just behind him. The doors closed behind him, and the elevator started to descend. 

He looked at her “Guess there’s no going back now.” 

She laughed, smiled at him. “I think we passed that point a while ago.” She grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly. He squeezed her hand back. 

The elevator went down for what seemed like forever. Finally, it stopped, and the steel doors slid open. Before them was another white hallway, exactly the same as the ones they had seen. V still didn’t see any people. 

That same male voice from one of the intercoms “The machine is just down the hallway. Follow the arrows.” 

Once again, arrows appeared on the floor. This time they lead into an open door about fifteen feet down the hallway. He stepped out of the elevator, Panam’s hand still in his, and followed the arrows. The door slid open as they approached it. Once they were both inside, they heard a clunk as the door shut behind them. 

V looked around the room, it was also pristine, all white, brightly lit. There were two chairs in the room, and a grey box that took up an entire wall of the room. Out of the grey box were cables that looked identical to the ones Ortega had used to connect Panam and himself to the machine in Ortega’s lab. V read the text on the box ‘LABRYNTH.’ There were smaller letters below it. ‘PROTOTYPE.’ He could hear the whirr of the ventilation system, saw a fan spinning in one of the vents. 

This room had intercoms in it too. “V, Ms. Palmer, have a seat.” 

He looked at Panam, shrugged, and sat down in one of the chairs, she sat in the other. The grey cables moved by themselves and connected to his and Panam’s personal links. Both chairs reclined once they were seated. He looked over at Panam, and then up at the pristine white ceiling. 

The voice from the intercom again “You only have a chance in there because of what happened to both of you in Ortega’s machine. Are you prepared to begin?” 

“What should we expect?” V asked.

“I can’t tell you what to expect. It will affect the procedure. All I can say is you must find each other in there. Are you ready?” 

They both answered at the same time. “Yes” 

V felt that same strange feeling again, like he was being pulled out of his head. 


	17. The Star - Chapter 17

He was on that same rooftop above Vic’s. Shit, Night City again. He looked down at his body, it wasn’t shimmering now. “Panam!” He yelled. The only thing he heard was own voice echoing back at him, coming from in between the buildings. 

Wait a fuckin’ minute? Echo? NC was never this quiet. He looked down at the street, there were no cars or people. The windows in the buildings around him were lit, but he didn’t see any signs of people in the windows. He looked up in the air, no AV’s or shit, anything. He saw something on the railing, walked over to it. It was the bullet necklace; he picked it up, it was cold in his hand. “Panam!” He yelled again. Still nothin’. Shit. Night City shimmered and flickered all around him. 

He went down the stairs to the alley, over to Vic’s shop, saw it it was empty, then headed to Misty’s. Empty. Shit. Where to next? He was just heading out of the shop when he saw it, on Misty’s table. Another Tarot card, alone. The Moon. 

“ _The Moon reminds us that reality is not always what it seems at first glance. In a world of appearances and illusions, the best course is often charted by one's own intuition. The Moon is also the card of dreams, desires, and of course, sleep – Death's nightly ritual._ ” 

Shit. What had he dragged Panam into? What did that guy on the intercom say? Gotta find Panam. She must be in here somewhere. 

He stepped into the street, looking around for anyone, or anything to help him figure out how to find Panam. He was standing there, trying to decide what to do next, and how he’d get there when a car pulled up, and the door opened. 

“V, welcome. Where would you like to go?” 

Shit, that was Delamain's voice. No fuckin’ way. 

“Delamain?” 

“Yes V. Where are we headed? Or did you want to walk?” 

Fuck it. He got in the car. Where would Panam go? He thought about it for a while. 

“V, I need a destination.” 

He had an idea. “Take me to the edge of town, Santo Domingo.” 

“Understood. On the way V.” 

The streets were empty as they traveled to that parking lot on the edge of town. Shit, he’d never seen NC like this. It was peaceful, almost beautiful. 

They arrived at the parking lot where he’d first met Panam. The Thorton car she’d had at the time was there, but there was no sign of her. He got out of the car and looked around, yelled for her. “Panam!” No response. Then he saw it, on the driver’s seat of the Thorton. Panam’s jacket. He yelled for her again, still nothing but his voice echoing back at him. He walked over to where that Strength card had appeared, looking for something. There was a card there, but it wasn’t Strength, it was the Moon, same as the one in Misty’s shop. Fuck. He got back into the car. Where to next? 

“Did you have another destination in mind sir?” Delamain asked. 

V thought about it for a while, then said “Yeah, take me to the Sunset. Just outside town” 

“Affirmative Sir. Sunset it is.” 

It was quiet as they drove out of town, past the dump, to the Sunset. Not a car on the freeway, and still no people anywhere. The parking lot was empty at the Sunset, but the windows were all lit. V walked around the whole outside of the Motel, investigated all of the rooms. He saw the one where he and Panam had slept in two separate beds the first night they’d spent together. There was no sign of her anywhere. He went to the bar, to the stools where they’d had their first beers together. There were two opened beers on the bar, directly in front of the stools. He walked over, picked up one of the beers, it was still cold. Shit. Nothin.’ 

He was heading back to the car when he saw a shimmer on the front of the Sunset. He walked over to take a closer look; it was the Moon card again. What the hell was goin’ on? He got back in the car. 

“Destination?” Delamain asked again. 

He was runnin’ out of fuckin’ ideas. Then it dawned on him, “Take me to the Aldecaldos camp. Way out in the desert.” 

“Affirmative sir. On the way” 

V was looking at the moonlight shimmer across the sand on the way out to the camp, it was so bright it was nearly daylight. Eventually, they got to the camp, and V got out of the car. Camp looked empty, no sign of anyone. He slowly circled through the camp, eventually sat down in the spot where he and Panam had spent that night together before raiding Arasaka tower. He look at Night City, all of it was shimmering and flickering bizarrely in the distance. This was nothing like Ortega’s machine, he had no idea what to do next, then he saw something. It was on the edge of camp, metallic, shimmering in the moonlight. He walked back down towards it, as he approached, he recognized what it was. The basilisk, so damaged it was nearly unrecognizable. Next to it was a pile of Moon cards, just like the ones in Misty’s shop. The tank’s broken, twisted metal shimmered in the moonlight. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he got back into the car. 

“Destination?” 

“Take me to the radio tower. South o’ town.” The last place they’d stopped before he left NC, where he’d seen the Star card. He’d told her about that place.. That was where she’d be. Had to be. 

“On the way.” 

The moonlight was even brighter on the way to the radio tower. V looked up at the moon, he’d never seen anything like it. It was two or three times bigger than any moon he’d ever seen. As he looked more closely at the sky, he noticed that there were no stars. 

As he got close to the radio tower, the moonlight began to dim. He looked up, menacing looking storm clouds were rolling in. By the time he’d gotten to the tower, it was pitch black out, and the wind had started to pick up. 

“Delamain, can you shine your lights on the building there?” 

“Certainly.” Headlights kicked on, and V headed towards the towers control building. It stared to rain, hard. Huge drops pelted him as he walked towards the building. He stepped inside, looked around as best he could with the headlights coming through the window. He saw something glinting in the corner, he walked closer to investigate. It was his Aldecaldos jacket, shiny and new, like when he’d first gotten it. He walked over to pick it up, and almost slipped. He looked down, and Panam’s jacket was on the ground, in a pool of blood. Her jacket was badly shredded, almost in pieces. He left the building and headed back towards the car. The raindrops were bigger than any he’d ever seen. What the fuck? Where was she? 

He’d just stopped to look back one more time as he was getting in the car, and he was blinded by a flash. The tower was illuminated for a split second, and the thunder cracked, rolled and echoed through the desert. 

The tower exploded; it had been hit by lighting. He heard metal creaking as the radio tower twisted under its own weight, hesitated, then crashed down into the control building with a thud. The rain was more intense than ever, it was nearly knocking him down to stand in it. 

He was standing in the rain, trying to decide what to do next, when he felt that familiar sensation, like he was being put back into his head. 

He opened eyes; he was back in StormTech’s room. 

That voice from the speaker again “Congratulations V! You are cured.” 

Shit. Cured. No fuckin’ way. He reached for Panam’s hand, but she wasn’t there. He looked over at her chair, it was empty. There was a small amount of blood on the headrest, dripping onto the floor. 

“Where’s Panam? Is she ok?” 

The voice from the speaker again. “I am afraid Ms. Palmer did not survive the procedure. You can pick up her body out front if you wish. Or we can put her in our incinerator. You decide” 

No. No fuckin’ way. Not her. After all they’d been through together. 

His vision went grey, he fell out of the chair. Shit, how could he have done this to her? He threw up. His eyes burned with tears, his throat closed up. He rolled over onto his side, curled up into a ball. No. Not Panam. He shoulda just died on that rooftop in NC. Fuck. 

The door opened and a man walked in. V sat up and looked at him. 

The man spoke. “V, I do regret what happened. But we did get what we were looking for about Soulkiller, about Arasaka. Now that you aren’t dying, we’d like you to work for us. You are a very capable net runner. You are in no condition to decide now of course, but you have my number.” 

V looked at the man, still in shock. 

“What... happened?” 

The man sighed, looked at V. “V, this is was an experimental procedure, you knew that going in. There was no guarantee that you would both survive. You were too far gone, she gave up too much to save you.” 

V looked at the floor. “I... I killed her.” 

The man frowned. “V, she lasted about fifteen minutes when we pulled her out of the Labyrinth. She could not speak, but we connected her personal link to this tablet, she managed to leave you this message.” 

The man handed him a tablet, there was blood on it. V looked down and read the text, he heard Panam’s voice as he did. 

_Hey V,_ _Stormtech_ _said that you will be cured! I am so happy for you! I would have liked to be there for you when you woke up, but you know how it is, can’t have it all. Take care of the family, Mitch and Dakota will need your help without me there. You will need to find a new co-pilot for the basilisk too, but we have some promising new recruits. And V, I know that eventually you will find someone else and forget about me. After all, how could a sweet talker like you stay single? Whoever she is, make sure she knows she is the luckiest girl in the badlands. I do hope you will remember me when you watch those beautiful desert sunsets though, I always loved watching those with you. Whoever you end up with, and whatever you end up doing, I hope you have a long, happy life, I just wish I could be there with you. We had a crazy ride V, and I would do it all again, I am SO glad I could do this one last thing for you. The technician said I don’t have long, I will think of you until the end. I love you V, love you so much..._

Tears flowed freely from V’s eyes after that, mixing with the blood on the tablet. His hands were numb, he almost dropped the tablet. She’d died for him and she didn’t regret anything. He’d never find someone like that again. 

The make spoke again. “V, did you decide on the incinerator, or did you want her body?” 

“I’ll take her... she’d want to be buried in the desert.” V got out through the sobs. 

The man nodded. “Very well V. I will send her up.” he said and left the room. 

V sat there for a while, not believing what was happening. He read the message again, fresh tears flowed as he finished it. The door opened, and a hoversled with a sheet on it in the hallway appeared just as he started to read the letter for a third time. 

The man’s voice from the speaker. “V, did you need anything else? Please collect Ms. Palmer and head out. We need this room.” 

V stood up, walked over to the sled. He took a deep breath and pulled back the sheet. It was Panam alright. Her eyes were open, and she had bloodstains around her ears and nostrils. He reached down and closed her eyes with his fingers. 

He looked down at her, touched her face, she was cold. “Panam...I never should have involved you. Johnny was right.” 

The voice from the speaker again. “V, please follow the arrows out of the building.” 

He put the sheet back over her face, he couldn’t bear to look at her. The arrows on the floor lit up, same as when he’d walked down here, holding her hand. He cried so hard he could barely see the arrows as he pushed her body through the building, into the elevator, and back to the entrance. The door opened, and he started to push the sled out into the snow. The snowflakes seemed to glow in the moonlight, it would have been beautiful under different circumstances. 

He heard the voice from the speaker again, “V, you will need to carry her. We aren’t giving you our cart or our sheet.” 

Fumbling, he tried to pull back the sheet, but his hands wouldn’t work. He closed his eyes, focused, and removed the sheet. More tears came as he looked at her, illuminated in the moonlight. She was so beautiful, even like this. He touched his hand to her face, stood there a moment, composing himself. Then he took a deep breath, put one hand around her back, and the other under her legs, and picked her up, staggered out into the snow, tears in his eyes. 

As he approached the hover plane, Kerry ran down the ramp. “V, what happened? What the fuck?” Kerry sounded like he was in shock. 

“She didn’t... didn’t make it.” V got out through the sobs. His vision blurred from tears, and he tripped, dropped her, and went sprawling into the snow. He laid there on his back, looking up at the sky. The snowflakes were cold as they landed on his face, they melted as they mixed with his warm tears. He felt something inside him die out, he’d killed her, the one person who’d always been there for him, the one person who’d really loved him. He was so fuckin’ stupid, asking her to do this. The snowstorm intensified, it was so bad he couldn’t make out Kerry, or Panam’s body next to him. Eventually, he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. The wind picked up, and the cold stung his face so badly he had to close his eyes. 

* * *

**Author’s note** **.** **This next part is best read alongside Outsider no more, OST Version. Headphones in a dark room for the best effect.**

[ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz3o6aS4b20** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz3o6aS4b20)

* * *

When he opened them, he was standing on the shore of the lake, just outside Night City, where he’d first left with Panam. He looked down; he was completely nude. What the fuck was goin’ on? 

V looked around, didn’t see anyone else. He looked up at the sky, there was no moon, but the stars were brighter than he’d ever seen them. He was standing there, naked, looking at the sky, trying to figure out what to do next, when one of the stars started to move. He blinked again, he was sure he was losin’ it, but when he opened his eyes, more were moving. Soon the whole sky was slowly shifting, shimmering, swirling in a slow-motion lightshow. 

One of the pinpoints of light slowly started descending out of the sky, it fell into the lake with a splash. Another followed it, then more and more, faster, and faster, until it was raining light. It was so bright V had to close his eyes. When he opened them, the sky was dark, but the lake was glowing a soft white. Panam was standing on the water in the middle of the lake, also completely nude. 

“Panam...” V called out to her. 

She looked over at him, smiling, glowing faintly with some of that same whitish light. “V?” He could hear her voice in his head. 

He felt his mouth open in awe. “You look like... some kinda’ angel.” 

She laughed; he could feel her joy in him. Her voice in his head again. “V, always the sweet talker, I hope you never stop.” Then she started moving towards him, across the surface of the lake, smiling. “How about a kiss?” 

He put one foot on the glowing surface of the lake, and he didn’t fall in. He took another step, and then another, walking faster and faster, eventually he was running across the lake. As he got close to Panam, she started glowing brighter and brighter. By the time he got to her, he couldn’t look away, she was radiant, hypnotizing. 

As soon as he was close to her, he heard her voice in his head again. “V, come here you gonk.” 

She leaned in and kissed him. As soon as she did, he started glowing faintly with that same whitish light. She put her arms around him and started pulling him closer. 

“Panam... I...” He was a complete loss for words. 

He felt her skin on his as she embraced him. He was hit with a tidal wave of emotion, but different than before. He felt comfortable, safe, content, loved as she held him. 

The lake started to bubble, churn, and swirl around them, soon they were in the middle of a slowly moving, glowing whirlpool. She was holding him tightly, her head on his shoulder, his head on hers. 

V felt her strength, her resolve, her determination, her love flow through him, stronger now, it was nearly overwhelming him. He wanted to laugh, cry, and scream all at once. 

The lake exploded, then time stopped. The water droplets were all around them, suspended in the air, glowing. He felt her grip on him loosen, and they dropped out of the embrace. She looked in his eyes for a long time, not saying anything. He looked at her, mesmerized by the reflections of the lights in her eyes. 

She pulled him towards her, brought him in for a kiss. As she did, the water droplets started slowly rotating all around them. She held him close, kissed him for a long time, he could feel a warm sensation start in his chest and spread throughout his entire body. He felt full, whole, complete, safe, for the first time in he didn’t know how long. When Panam finally broke off the kiss, he looked down at his body, he was glowing as brightly as she was. He looked up, back at Panam. The droplets reflecting in her eyes looked just like the stars in the sky. 

He saw the reflections in her eyes, shift, change, then he realized she was crying. He started crying too. 

“Panam... I thought...thought I lost you.” he got out through the tears. 

She pulled him close to her again, held him tightly. Comfort, trust, and love, washed over him. He’d never felt so at peace. 

Suddenly, he woke up in the chair in Stormtech’s lab. He looked over frantically for Panam next to him. 

She was there, looking at him with tears in her eyes. “V... I....” She trailed off. 

He blinked back his own tears. “Panam....” He trailed off too, didn’t know what to say. 

The door opened, and a man walked into the room. 

“V, Ms. Palmer, that was amazing.” It was the voice from the speaker. “V, you are cured. I felt I had to come in to congratulate you. We were not sure what to expect, but we did not expect that.” 

“Is this real? What the fuck happened in there?” V asked. 

The man laughed at V. “Yes, V, this is very real. Ortega told you that one of the most human emotions is love. He was correct of course.” 

The man walked over to the computer and sat down. “Do you know what the other one is ?” 

V shook his head. “What?” 

The man continued. “Hope. I’m sorry we had to do that to you, but it was the only way. We had to take away your source of hope to break your mind. Once your mind was broken, you’d cry out to her, you’d want her back more than anything else in the world. We theorized that if her love for you was strong enough, and her will to find you was great enough, she’d find you. After your mind shattered, she gave up part up of herself to save you. V, she had to want you so badly that she would accept part of you in her mind as well. She did of course, but now you are not the same V you were before, and she is not the same Ms. Palmer. You are linked, much more closely than Ortega and Isabelle.” 

V looked at Panam. “What did you see in there?” 

She looked around the room. “I was here, in the facility. But it was different... surreal. There were all these doors, hundreds of them, thousands. They told me I had to check them all, that you were in one of the rooms. I checked so many it felt like years, decades. I was never going to quit though; I did not care how long it look. Then I felt you, but you were so sad, broken... I cannot describe it. I just wanted to hold you, help you, make you feel ok. Next thing I knew we were at that lake, and we were naked. It was... strange. What about you?” 

V looked at her. “I was in Night City, but it was deserted, surreal too... I went to all the spots I thought you’d be, but you weren’t there. I finally went to the radio tower, and lightning hit it. I woke up, heard I was cured, but you’d died during the procedure. I saw your body, carried you out into the snow. It was terrible, I lost it. Then I was at that lake.” 

The man spoke again. “Your connection is truly remarkable. But remember, if one of you dies, the other one will follow shortly after.” 

V looked at Panam. “Panam... I... don’t know what to say. I love you. Thank you so much, you... saved me.” 

He was trying to think of something, anything else to say when Panam spoke. “V, you mean SO much to me. And now we have some real time together. I love you V, I would not have it any other way.” 

He was sitting there, dumbfounded, but he managed to smile at her. 

She laughed at him. “V, you gonk. How about a kiss?” She got out of her chair, crossed the room, and kissed him. An electric feeling washed over him, like nothing he’d ever felt. Well, outside of Labyrinth. 

She pulled away from him. “V... did you feel that?” 

“Yeah...” 

“Interesting” the man said. “That will fade with time, but for now you are very closely linked.” 

V grabbed her hand, that same electric feeling. “Love you too Panam. Thanks for everything” 

She smiled at him, “I knew we would get your head straightened out. You just had to trust me.” 

“Yeah...Guess so.” He said, smiling at her. Damn she was fuckin’ beautiful. 

* * *

**Authors note: Well, there you have it. True love conquers all, even Soulkiller. Remember, I am a hopeless romantic. I hope this was a satisfying way to cure V. There is an authors note at the end of the next chapter (epilogue) with my future plans.**


	18. The Star - Chapter 18 - Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this far, thanks. I have a long author's note at the end of this as well.

V stared at Panam for a few more seconds, then the man broke the silence. 

“V, Ms. Palmer, now that you have some more time together, I’d like to offer you another deal. You will not need to worry about Arasaka tracking you anymore, now that you are cured, you are no different from anyone else to them. However, they are still a threat to us. We got what we needed from the experiment and have the upper hand on Arasaka for now. We will be launching a cyber-attack against them in the next few hours.” 

Panam spoke up. “I see where this is going and thank you for everything, but I cannot drag the Aldecaldos into a corporate war. We are not soldiers.” 

The man shook his head. “Of course not. We have cyborg warriors here, orbital rail cannons, biomechanical vehicles that make Sebastians’s Basilisk look like a toy. But Stormtech has been in the shadows for too long, we do not have the logistical network to support long term conflict. We can win a battle, but we would lose a war of attrition. However, this is still our best chance to cripple them, we have to take it.” 

Panam looked down as she processed everything. “What are you asking then?” 

“Ms. Palmer, the Aldecaldos are some of the best smugglers I have ever seen, we’ve been watching you move tech around for years. You know every tunnel and shortcut from here to Night City. We want you to work for us. We can give you as many eddies as you want, we can cure almost any disease with our technology. We can give you weapons, vehicles, whatever you need.” 

Panam frowned. “It is tempting, but we do not want the Aldecaldos to become part of some corporation. It almost tore us apart once, with Saul and Biotechnica.” 

The man nodded at her. “Excuse my poor choice of words. Your slogan is ‘Forever Free’ after all. But we would be partners, you would retain your independence fully. Stormtech and the seven nations were allied and formidable 50 years ago. We’d like to do that again.” 

Panam looked at V, he shrugged. She looked back to the man. “I need to discuss it with the leadership back at camp.” 

The man nodded again. “Of course. I understand how things work with you nomads. But I hope you will accept. You have my number. You can follow the arrows out of the building.” The man got up and left the room. Once he was out, an arrow lit up on the floor. 

V shrugged, got up from the chair, and headed towards the door, Panam was right behind him. They followed the arrows out of the building. There was no sign of the man, or of anyone else on the way out of the building. It was light outside when they left, Kerry’s hover plane was still on the landing pad. As they approached it, the door opened, and the ramp emerged. 

Kerry’s face appeared in the doorway. “How did it go? Did things work out?” 

V nodded. “Yeah, I’m all better Kerry.” 

Kerry smiled, patted him on the back. “Glad to hear it V.” 

“How long has it been?” 

Kerry shrugged. “Dunno, I was partyin.’ You guys ready to go?” 

V nodded. “Yeah, let’s get out of here. You got any more pizza?” 

Kerry shook his head. “Sorry V, all out. I got other stuff though if you are hungry.” 

Kerry led them back into the plane. The joytoys set out beers and food, and Nibbles jumped into V’s lap. They sat there for a few hours, V caught Kerry up on what had happened at Stormtech, as well as what happened inside the machine at Ortega's lab three years ago. 

As V finished the story, Kerry’s eyes went wide. “Thats fuckin’ insane man. I’m happy you are better, and you got Panam here, but I don’t understand most of what you said. I am wondering about one thing though.” 

“What is it?” V asked Kerry. 

“You said you are linked together now, that when you hold her hand, or kiss her you get that electric feeling. What are you doing sitting here with me when you should be in that bedroom? Stormtech said that would fade right? You better get to it.” 

“Kerry!” V yelled. “Are you fuckin’ serious? Is that all you ever think about?” 

Then V looked over at Panam, she was looking at him, thinking it over. She reached over, ran the back of her hand across his cheek, and those same waves of electricity flowed through him. She smiled at him and said “He’s right V. We should celebrate.” She took his hand, got up pulled him to the bedroom. 

V heard Kerry’s voice over his shoulder. “I’ll get you some real water. The way she’s lookin’ at you you’re gonna need some hydration.” Kerry turned up the radio, Samurai’s Black Dog started blasting in the main room. 

As the door closed behind them in the bedroom, Panam undressed, stood before him. He undressed, and then stood there a second, dumbfounded, looking at her, thinking about what happened at the lake. 

She spoke. “V?... You ok?” 

He nodded, smiled. “’Course Panam, never better.” 

She smiled, took his hand, led him to the bed, and pulled him on top of her. The celebration was unlike anything V had ever experienced. 

When they were done, they got dressed, headed back out into the main room. Kerry saw them, turned the music down, clicked on the TV, and handed them two real waters. “You two were in there for a while. How’d it go?” 

Panam grabbed the water from Kerry, sat down, took a sip, and looked at V. “Preem” she said, smiling. 

Kerry slapped V on the back. “See man, I got your back.” 

V took a sip of his water and laughed. “Thanks Kerry.” 

Just then the pilot came on the radio. “Big storm south of us. We’ve gotta go down the coast to get you back to camp.” 

Kerry shook his head. “Fuck, sorry V. I know you wanna get back.” 

“It’s cool Kerry.” 

Just then a banner appeared across the bottom of the TV. ‘ARASAKA ATTACKED.’ They all looked at the TV. A banner was scrolling across the bottom of the screen. ‘Arasaka’s facilities around Night City have gone silent. This is a developing story, more info to come.’ 

“I guess Stormtech does not fuck around.” Panam said. 

“You think about that deal?” V asked her. 

She shook her head at him. “I do not know. We could use the eddies, the tech, the weapons for sure. But I do not want to work for a corporation.” 

V nodded at her. “They said we’d be independent, but yeah I get it. Let’s see what Mitch and the others have to say, we got time. Even if Arasaka still wanted to catch me, looks like they got bigger problems now.” 

Kerry’s phone beeped and he picked it up. “Yeah, this is Kerry. What’s up?” A man’s voice from the phone, V couldn’t make it out. “Oh hey.” Kerry continued. “Yeah, he’s right here actually. Yeah, he’s doing real good, we’re taking him back to the desert. Oh, I dunno. Let me ask him.” 

Kerry looked at V. “It’s Victor. He wants to know if you want to stop by Night City on the way back, say hi to everyone. We are going down the coast anyways, it's not too far out of the way. We can spend the night, then get you back to camp tomorrow.” 

V looked at Panam. “What do you think? One more night on the town?” 

She looked at him and laughed. “V? Are you asking me on a date?” 

V laughed back. “Yeah... I guess so. We never did get the chance.” 

She leaned in, kissed him. “Of course, V. You know I can’t say no to you.” 

V looked at Kerry, nodded, Kerry nodded back. “Ok we’ll be there in a few hours. See you soon Vic.” 

V got up from the bar and sat on one of the huge sofas, facing the aquarium. Panam followed him, sat down up against him with her head on his shoulder. That electric feeling was still there but was fading now. 

Kerry looked over at them, smiled. “You two sure are something. I’m happy for you both. We got a few hours to kill V. You wanna party?” 

V looked down at Panam, she’d closed her eyes as she laid up against him, she had a huge smile on her face. “Nah, Kerry, I think I’m good here.” 

“Yeah, smart move V.” Kerry came over and sat on another sofa. As soon as he did, Nibbles jumped into his lap. “You wanna hear about my fish?” 

V laughed. “Sure Kerry. ‘Course.” 

Kerry talked for a while about his fish and where he’d gotten them all. V nodded at Kerry; this whole conversation was actually pretty interesting. V would occasionally look down at Panam resting on him, she’d fallen asleep. 

The pilot’s voice on the radio. “Getting close to NC.” 

V looked over at Kerry. “Night fuckin’ City. Never thought I’d be back. Has it changed?” 

Kerry shook his head. “Nah, not really. You know how it is there, did you good to get out.” 

Panam woke up and walked over to the window. V followed her. The sun was glinting off the dome of the Grand Imperial Mall, he could see the roller coaster faintly too. He saw his old megabuilding, and just caught a glimpse of the Sunset Motel. The advertisements towered over the city, same as when he’d left. As they approached, he saw Arasaka tower, noticed all the lights were out. 

The hoverplane flew over the city, up to North Oak, and landed at Kerry’s mansion. The sounds of the city were loud as V stepped off the plane, Panam’s hand in his. 

Kerry spoke as they got off the plane. “Let’s head inside, relax a bit before dinner.” Kerry headed into the mansion, and V followed him. 

Kerry’s mansion was different, the walls were full of guitars, swords, guns, all kinds of crazy shit. V stopped in the middle of the room, looking around at everything. 

Kerry laughed. “Nice, right?” 

V laughed back. “Yeah Kerry, Shit. This is somethin’” 

Kerry shrugged. “Like I said, I got more money than I know what to do with.” They followed Kerry from room to room, as he told the stories about all the shit he had. After a while, Kerry headed upstairs. “I’m gonna take a shower, clean up a bit before dinner. You two look like you can use one too. Guest room is over there.” Kerry nodded to the opposite side of the mansion. 

Panam looked upstairs. “A shower... sounds pretty fucking good. Join me V?” 

Kerry nodded at V, smiled. “Told you I had your back.” Then he turned, disappeared into the master suite. 

Panam took V’s hand, led him towards the guest room. There was only a tiny hint of that electric feeling now. In the bathroom, Panam let her hair down, she was standing in front of the mirror. “Go ahead V. I will join you in a second.” 

He nodded undressed, got into the shower, and turned the water on, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken a shower indoors like this. Some things in Night City were ok after all. He leaned up against the wall, let the warm water flow over him, stood like that for a few minutes, eyes closed. 

Then, he felt Panam’s arms slide along his sides, move up towards his chest and pull him close to her. She held him close like that for a few seconds then spoke. “V let’s get fucking cleaned up. I cannot remember the last time I took a shower like this.” 

He laughed “Sure thing Panam.” 

* * *

**Authors note – I think music enhances this next part. This isn’t super intense though like the previous multimedia sections. Kerry’s boat song pairs well with this, low volume in the background.**

[ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OBeYDk6T2c** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OBeYDk6T2c)

**The song won’t last till the end of the epilogue, that is by design.**

* * *

After the shower, they got dressed, and headed out onto Kerry’s patio. Kerry was out there already, smoking a cigarette, looking over the city. He looked up as V and Panam approached. “You both look a hell of a lot cleaner. Feel better?” 

Panam nodded. “Yeah, thanks Kerry. I can see why V likes you.” 

Kerry nodded at Panam, took a drag from his cigarette. “I’m an asshole, but occasionally I can be alright.” Then Kerry looked at V. “Speaking of assholes V, check this out.” Kerry stood, walked over to one of the walls, and flicked a switch. A light on the ground illuminated, lit up a portrait of Kerry and Johnny, smiling. 

Kerry continued. “I had it done shortly after you left. After all that shit with you and Johnny, it got me thinking. We had some differences, but he was ok. It’s kinda dumb, but I like to look at it when I’m out here smoking.” Kerry looked down now, smiled. “Look at me, livin’ in the past. Johnny’d be pissed.” Kerry looked at V and Panam now. “You want a cigarette, a drink before we go? I got a bar here. For Johnny? You know he loved his cigarettes.” 

V smiled at Kerry. “He was always trying to get me to smoke. I guess one is ok. For Johnny.” 

Kerry smiled, walked over, handed V a cigarette, lit it. He looked at Panam “I know you don’t smoke, you want one?” 

Panam stopped, looked down, then back up at Kerry. “Just this once, for Johnny.” Kerry handed her a cigarette, lit it too. 

They all took drags of their cigarettes, looked over the city. Kerry spoke “Shit, I almost forgot. You want a drink?” 

V nodded. “’Course Kerry, after all that shit we went through, I could use one.” 

Kerry headed over to the bar. “Ok V, what’s your poison?” 

V took another drag from his cigarette. “I’ll take a Johnny Silverhand.” 

Kerry nodded. “Sure thing V. I think I’ll have one too.” he looked over to Panam. “What about you? Drink?” 

She nodded. “Yeah, I could use a drink too.” 

Kerry nodded at her. “Another Johnny Silverhand?” 

She shook her head. “Make mine a Jackie Welles.” 

Kerry nodded, looked at V, then at Panam and smiled. “V, man she is fucking something. Make sure you hold on to her. Drinks are coming up.” 

Kerry mixed up the drinks, handed them out. “To Johnny!” Kerry said. 

“To Johnny!” V and Panam repeated, and clinked their glasses together. 

Then Kerry held his glass up again. “To Jackie Welles. I never met the guy, but I hear he was a fuckin’ tornado.” 

V paused for a minute at that, then lifted his glass along with Panam. “To Jackie Welles!” 

After finishing their drinks, and cigarettes, Kerry excused himself, and went into the house. He came back out with a guitar. “V, Panam, you wanna hear something I wrote? I bet you’ll fucking like it.” 

“’Course Kerry.” V said, and sat down on one of the couches on the patio. 

Kerry sat down, and started playing, V recognized the tune. “Kerry... that’s the song you were playing on that boat, the day we blew it up. Only... it sounds like you finished it.” 

Kerry talked as he continued to play. “Yeah man, you fucking inspired me to finish it. Well, you and Panam here. I was hoping you’d like it.” 

Panam looked puzzled. “What do you mean Kerry?” 

Kerry kept playing, as he talked. “V wouldn’t stop talking about you on that boat. Just the way he looked when he mentioned you, I dunno, it woke something up in me. I had to write some fucking music to get it out. Glad you two finally got to hear it. I got more too if you want to hear it.” 

“Sure Kerry, thanks.” Panam said, and slid over next to V, put her head on his shoulder. 

Kerry nodded, kept playing and singing softly as the sun got lower and lower on the horizon. 

V put his arm around Panam, tapped his hand on her shoulder to the rhythm. Occasionally she would look up at him, smile, and lean in for a kiss. Every time she did, Kerry would shoot V a smile. 

Finally, about sunset, Kerry stood up. “You ready? I hope you are hungry. Mama Welles made a lotta food. River brought that fuckin’ gumbo too. And we got locust pepperoni pizza and pierogis too.” 

Panam spoke. “That pizza does sound good.” 

V was thinking those pierogis were sounding pretty good too, then he processed the rest of what Kerry had said. “Mama Welles, shit, I had no idea. Thanks Kerry, for settin’ this up” 

Kerry nodded as he hopped in the SUV. “No problem man. Everyone wants to see you. Hop in.” 

Night City loomed large over them, seemed to swallow them up as they drove into Watson, to Misty’s shop. Once they arrived, they got out of the car, headed inside. 

“Where is everyone?” V asked. 

“On the roof. Come on.” Kerry headed towards the alley, got into the elevator. V and Panam followed him. As the elevator opened, V saw a table on the roof, and all eyes were on him. Vic had a huge smile on his face. Misty ran over, hugged him. 

River walked over, clapped him on the back. “Hey V. Glad you’re doing ok. Joss says hi too.” 

V looked at River. “Good to see you too River. How you been?” 

River nodded, “Been doing great V. You takin’ care of my gun?” 

V slipped the revolver out of its holster and nodded. “’Course.” 

V heard footsteps, felt a hand on his back. “Hey there chico. Who’s the pretty lady you’re with?” 

He turned around, and Judy was standing there, a half-smile on her face. 

V returned the half smile. “Judy...I thought you were in Oregon?” 

Judy’s half smile turned into a grin. “Kerry sent a plane. Said you were in town for one night only. Had to stop by, who knows when we’ll see each other again. I wanted to thank you in person, for gettin' me out of here.” Judy paused, nodded towards NC. “I was never happy here. I always kinda knew it, but that time we went swimming, that’s when it hit me, I had to get out. Thanks for that V, for spending time with me, listening to me. Really helped me get my head sorted out. Now, I’m happy every day.” 

V nodded. “’Course Judy.” V looked at Night City and back to Judy. “Glad things worked out.” 

Judy looked at Panam. “I’ve heard about you. V wouldn’t stop talking about you when he first met you, I could tell he was falling for you.” Judy smiled, shook her head, and continued. “He kept testin’ out all these cheesy lines on me, wanted to know if I thought they’d work on you.” 

Panam looked at V, then at Judy and laughed. “So, I have you to thank for that huh?” 

Judy smiled, looked at Panam. “Looks like it worked though.” 

Panam laughed. “Yeah, it fucking worked.” 

Kerry stood between V and Panam, one arm around each of them “Had to stall you at the house a bit. Worth it for the surprise, though right?” 

V shook his head. “Shit yeah, wow Kerry. Thanks, I mean it.” 

Mama Welles looked at V. “Please, sit, eat, you look so hungry V! You and this pretty lady are too thin.” 

V shrugged, looked at Panam and sat down. They spent a while catching up with everyone. Judy was doing well, ran a BD shop with her girlfriend in Oregon. River was still helping kids get off the street, training them so they had something to do other than join Arasaka. Mama Wells and Misty were getting along, finally. Vic’s shop was doing well. V and Panam told everyone about life in the Badlands, Ortega, all the all the things he’d done with the Aldecaldos. 

The talked for hours, late into the night, but eventually, Judy got up from the table, “It’s been nice V, but I gotta get back to Oregon. Girlfriend’s missing me, you know how it is.” 

Kerry spoke up. “Plane’s waiting for you. Thanks for coming.” 

Judy looked at V, smiled. “Of course.” She put her hand on his shoulder as she left. “Take care of yourself V.” 

A while after that, River stood, walked over and clapped V on the back. “I should get back too. Joss needs help at home. Nice catching up V.” 

V looked up at River. “‘Course. Thanks for coming River. Good seen’ ya.” 

Mama Welles and Misty cleared the dishes, stayed a while longer, but eventually they had to leave too. 

As she was leaving, Mama Welles stood between Panam and V, one hand on each shoulder. “V, Jackie’d be happy for you. You boys got into a lot of trouble, but he wanted to you be happy, always did. I wish he was here to see you now, but I know he’s proud.” She looked at Panam, and back to V. “I’m happy for you two, glad you found each other. You take care of each other out there in the desert.” 

V nodded. “Thanks, Mama Welles. And we will take care of each other, don’t worry.” 

Mama Welles smiled at them both, then headed towards the elevator. 

Misty stood, then stopped. “I guess I was right with that Tarot draw when you first left. Do you want another one?” 

V looked at Panam and shook his head. “Nah, thanks Misty. I think we’ve had enough of that for now. 

Misty nodded. “Let me know if you change your mind.” Misty looked at Panam. “I knew you’d end up together. That she’d be the one the save you.” 

V looked at Misty, confused. “How could you know that? Those cards?” 

Misty shook her head “Maybe a little. Mostly though, I saw the way you looked at each other that night in my shop. I could tell she really loved you V, and you really loved her. I could feel the spiritual energy in the room too, when she showed up. It was like you were destined to find each other, to protect each other from the world.” Misty put a hand on V’s shoulder and one on Panam’s. “It’s beautiful, what you have. I know you two will take care of each other.” Misty smiled, and headed down the stairs. 

Some more time passed and then Vic stood up. “You need a tune up kid? Keep all the dust of out of that insulation? I can take you down to the shop, take a quick look.” 

V shook his head. “Nah, thanks Vic. I’m good.” 

Vic smiled, nodded, and headed towards the elevator. Just before he got in, He turned back to V “It’s nice V, being happy with what you’ve got, who you’ve got, isn't it?” 

V looked at Panam, she smiled at him. “Yeah Vic. It sure is.” 

Vic laughed. “Don’t be a stranger kid. If you are ever in town again, stop by. No charge for you.” 

V smiled. “Thanks Vic. I’ll let you know.” 

Kerry walked over, handed V a key. “Here’s a housekey. I gotta delta too. I’ll leave the car; I can get a ride. Don’t stay out too late.” 

Finally, it was just Panam and V on the rooftop. She got up, pushed her chair over next to him, sat close. They sat there a while, looking at Night City, not saying anything. 

Panam’s spoke finally. “Night City sure is something to look at. I could never live here though.” 

Looking out at the city like that, with Panam, everything hit him all at once. He thought about meetin’ Jackie, smuggling in that fuckin lizard. About how Jackie died next to him in that Delamain. About when he first met Johnny, what an asshole Johnny was. Then he thought about that talk with Johnny in the oilfields; Johnny seemed so fuckin’ sad nobody remembered him. Finally, he thought about Panam, the first time she smiled at him was the first time he forgot he had a death sentence. He thought about holding that gun in this hand that night on the rooftop, what he’d been so close doing but instead he called her. Tears started to burn his eyes. 

“Yeah...” V got out, then stifled a sob. 

* * *

**Authors note – this is a dark conversation where V opens up to** **Panam** **about his previous suicidal thoughts. I almost cut this, but I felt it was important to close the narrative loop the book started with. I felt I should add this disclaimer. If you want to skip it, skip to the next authors note, the story can continue without it.**

* * *

Panam pulled him close to her, he put his head on her shoulder. “V come here. What is it?” 

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “V...” she started, then he cut her off. 

“Panam...” He looked at her again. “There’s somethin’ else, somethin’ I never told you. That night, when I called you from this rooftop, I was so fuckin’ close to ending it myself. I had the gun in my hand, I... shit, I just didn’t want anyone else to die. Figured I’d call you one last time, hear your voice, then check out. That’s how half this city ends up anyways.” 

After he said that, she pushed him off her shoulder, her eyes went wide, and she ran her hands through her hair. She was silent for a minute, looked like she was processing what he’d said. Finally, she looked up at him, her expression grave. “V... I had no idea. If you would have done that...I do not know what it would have done to me, I would have been fucking devastated.” She paused; when she looked up her eyes were glassy. “I thought you knew I was there for you. That I loved you.” 

V looked out over the city. “I knew, and I loved you too. S’ why I didn’t want you riskin’ your life for me. After I called you the first time, heard your voice, I couldn’t do it. I knew you wanted to help, I couldn’t take that chance away from you. And after this dinner seeing all the people I helped, they woulda been hurt too.” 

Panam sat in silence, blinking back tears. 

V took a deep breath, looked at Panam and continued. “That aint all. After Alt told me I was dyin’ I thought about it again, more than a few times. When I was real bad, blackin’ out 3 or 4 times a week. I saw what that was doing to you. Panam, you are so fucking strong and watchin’ me die was breaking you down. I heard you outside the tent, cryin’ at night, when you thought I was sleepin.’ It was terrible. I’d lie inside, tears in my eyes, listenin’ to you.” 

Panam spoke finally. “V... why didn’t you tell me? Shit, I should have talked to you.” 

He shrugged. “S’ ok. I thought you were already goin’ through so much, telling you would just make things harder for you. It was tough sittin’ in that tent, knowin’ you were cryin for me. After Ortega’s though, I never thought about it again. Whatever happened, I’d be with you, ‘till the end.” 

Panam wiped her eyes. “After the first time in the Labyrinth?” 

V shook his head. “Nah, when we thought we were about to get zeroed in that warehouse. Lookin’ around that room at Mitch, Dakota, and holding onto you, I finally figured out I had family. If we didn’t get zeroed then and there, I wasn’t gonna quit, not after everything everyone had done for me. Haven’t thought about taking that way out since.” 

Panam ran her hands though her hair again, she didn’t say anything. 

V continued. “I dunno what I was thinkin’. Judys old squeeze, Evelyn offed herself. Judy called me right after, she was wrecked. Thinkin’ about you like that Panam... I’m sorry. Sorry for even thinking like that.” 

Panam was quiet for a few seconds, and then she spoke. “You don’t need to apologize. And thank you for telling me V, for trusting me with something like this. I love you.” She pulled him close, he put his head on her shoulder again, ran her fingers through his hair. 

* * *

**Authors note – this is the end of the conversation mentioned above.**

**Also, more music for this next part – the Star ending theme.** [ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEFnnpo7dPA** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEFnnpo7dPA)

**I think it makes this final section hit hard, but up to you.**

* * *

He sat there on her shoulder, for a few minutes, then spoke. “I love you too Panam, thanks for listenin’. And what you did for me...at StormTech, I feel human again, I dunno. Better’n I felt in a long time. And now, bein’ back here, I got all these feelings swirlin’ around in me; its overwhelming. I keep thinkin’ about how lucky I am to have someone like you. You saved my life, so many times, and made a real sacrifice for me. I just love ya’ so much, I can’t even find the words in my gonk brain to describe it. You just... mean the fuckin’ world to me.” 

He looked up at her, her eyes were tearing up. “I am always here to listen to you V, never forget that. And I did what I did because I love you V, you mean the world to me too. I feel incredibly lucky to have you too, you’ve always been there for me, through everything. No matter what happens, we ALWAYS have each other.” 

He sat up, pulled in her in for a kiss, and they sat in silence for a while again looking out at NC. He broke the silence. “Panam... do you feel different? Stormtech said you’d be changed forever.” 

She shrugged. “Not really, no.” Then she frowned. “I did notice that locust pepperoni was way better than I remember it being though.” 

V nodded. “Yeah, I never liked them pierogis you are always goin’ on about, but they hit the spot today.” 

They spent some more time, looking out at the city, holding hands. Eventually V spoke again. “It’s strange bein' back up here, I never thought I’d be sitting on this rooftop ever again. Talking to Mama Welles got me thinkin’ about Jackie. You know I love you Panam, but Jackie was my fuckin’ choom. Haven’t really thought about him much lately, not till we got here. Friends like that are hard to find.” 

Panam nodded. “I think I know what you need. Let’s get out of here.” 

She took his hand, and they got back in the SUV. Panam was driving, they were heading up to North Oak. 

He wasn’t sure what she was planning. “Where we goin’ Panam? Back to Kerry’s already?” 

“You will see V.” 

They stopped in North Oak, V recognized the place. The Columbarium. They parked and got out of the car. Panam took his hand, led him through the building, to one of the graves. Jackie’s grave. V looked down, read the text. ‘Good night sweet prince.' V felt tears in his eyes again. 

Panam squeezed his hand. “It’s ok V. Take all the time you need. I will be right here next to you.” 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, blinking back tears, reading that text over, and over thinking about Jackie. Panam’s grip on his hand never loosened. 

Finally, he looked over at her. “Thanks, Panam. I needed this; it feels good... to say goodbye. Never got the chance when we first left NC.” 

She gave him a half smile. “I know V. You ok? Or you need more time?” 

He shook his head. “Nah, I’m good.” He started heading out of the building, then stopped. “Actually, Panam, there is somethin’ else.” 

“Lead the way, V.” 

He grabbed Panam’s hand and headed to the back of the Columbarium, looked through all the old graves. Finally, he found it. Robert John Linder. 

Panam read the name then looked up at him. “V, who is that?” 

“That’s Johnny, that was his real name.” V read the epitaph on the grave. ‘Robert John Linder: Son of a bitch who never gave up. A legend among legends’. 

V put his hand on the grave. “Thanks Johnny. You were a son a of a bitch for sure, but thanks.” He stood there awhile longer, then turned to Panam again. “I’m good. Thanks again Panam. You knew just what I needed. I love you.” 

She smiled back. “Love you too V. You want to stay awhile or you ready to go?” 

V looked around, he wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was late. “Let’s delta. Back to Kerry’s? It’s late.” 

She shook her head. “The city is making me claustrophobic. Let’s get out of town.” 

V nodded. “Sunset?” 

“You will see V.” she said as they got back in the SUV, and headed out of NC, into the badlands. Once they got out of the city, no other cars were on the road. V saw the Sunset come and go, Panam didn’t slow down as they passed it. 

“Panam, where we goin’?” 

“Almost there V. It is a surprise.” 

V was looking at the desert, trying to figure out where they were headed. He was looking at the starlight reflect off the windmills, he’d always loved the badlands at night. 

Panam turned to him, her voice was sincere. “V, after everything, I do not know your real name. Do you mind telling me what it is?” 

“‘Course Panam. It’s....” He stopped, thought about it. His memory was fine, he could remember everything else that had happened to him. But he could not think of what the V stood for. 

“Panam... I... I don’t know, I can’t remember.” 

She looked concerned. “V... Are you ok?” 

V nodded at Panam. “Yeah, I can remember everything else, no problem, crystal clear. But I can’t tell ya’ what the V stands for.” He paused, thought it over, then continued. “It doesn’t matter, whoever that was is gone. I’m different now Panam. I feel better than I ever have, my whole life. I’m happy, and I got you, I think that’s all that really matters.” 

She nodded, then reached over and put her hand on his arm. “You are right V, it does not matter what I call you, all that matters is we have each other.” She paused, then continued “But V?” 

He wasn’t sure where she was going with this. “Yeah Panam?” 

She gave him a little tap with her fist. “Never stop with that sweet talking, I love it.” 

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty more.” 

They rode through the desert a while longer, and then she turned off the road, pulled up to a beat-up looking building in the badlands. “Panam... where you takin’ us?...” he started, then recognized the building. The Independent California Motel. “Panam... wow. It’s perfect.” 

She smiled at him as she got out of the car. “The city is too loud V; I needed some space. I figured this place would be quiet.” 

She walked over and sat on the steps of the building. He got out of the car, walked over, sat next to her. She reached down, grabbed his arm, and put it around her. V looked at Panam smiling, and she turned to him, also smiling. They sat there looking in each other’s eyes for a few seconds, not speaking, then turned to look at the sky together. The stars were bright tonight. 

* * *

**Authors note:** This is a long personal note, so if you only make it this far thanks for reading. If you are wondering about a sequel check the last paragraphs of the note. If you left comments, thanks even more. I tried to keep people guessing what would happen, and I liked seeing people's reactions to the way I ended some chapters. Echo on ao3, and thesceneofthecrime on ff.net, whoever you are, thanks for the feedback on almost every chapter, I looked forward to reading your comments. 

Cyberpunk 2077 resonated with me on a level I didn’t think was possible from a game. I’ve always loved the cyberpunk genre and played games like Deus Ex, seen Bladerunner a bunch of times, read Neuromancer. They are good, but not that different. It’s always a brutal world, everyone is out for themselves. I went into 2077 expecting that, and that is how the game was for a time, it was a fun, GTA style game with cyberpunk. At Jackie’s funeral, I got the first inkling that maybe this game would be something different, cyberpunk doesn’t usually have that kind of emotion. 

Up until the Hellman sequence, I thought V was going to be cured, and the game would be more GTA style fun until the end. After that though, I really got in V’s head, tried to understand what it would be like to told you are dying and not have anyone really care, or even anyone to talk to about it. After that, I did the Panam questline alongside Takemuras,’ alternating them. 

It worked out that I did the parade sequence with Takemura and had the conversation with Johnny about death and what it means to die right before the Queen of the Highway quest. I was sitting there in my chair, floored. I didn’t expect that from a game at all. I was still processing all of that when I got a text from Mitch, and a call from Panam to come check out the tank. Tank sex is cool, but what really got me with the whole sequence was Panam’s reaction when V opens up to her and tells her about Johnny and relic, and that he’s dying. She doesn’t flip out, tell V to leave, or anything like that. She calms V down, and says she’ll figure something out. The voice actors/animations in this sequence were incredible too, you could tell V is really scared at this point, and if you pick the right dialogue options, you can that tell Panam REALLY loves V by her tone and expressions. It was the most powerful moment in the whole game for me personally, after that, I had to take a break from the game, I got in the shower and started crying, the whole situation was so beautiful and sad, it was too much. Maybe it’s because I played the game for like 6 or 7 hours a day around the holidays, but I was immersed, and that sequence hit me HARD. 

This was all before I knew there was a Panam specific ending. The epilogue to the game was wonderfully done I thought, they really hint that V will live. You see a swallow, when all birds are supposed to be extinct. You find a quote from the Iliad on the ground next to the basilisk, just before you get in it to leave night city – I'll quote it here: 

_...or my mother the goddess, silver-footed Thetis,_ _telleth_ _me that twofold fates are bearing me toward the doom_ _of death:_

_if I abide here and war about the city of the Trojans, then lost is my home-return, but my renown shall_ _be imperishable;_

_but if I return home to my dear native land, lost then is my glorious renown, yet shall my life long_ _endure,_ _neither shall the doom of death come soon upon me._

_Aye, and I would counsel_ _you_ _others also to sail back to your homes; seeing there is no more hope that ye shall_ _win the goal of steep_ _Ilios_ _..._

The second stanza I think references the Sun ending of the game. Lost is your home, but your renown shall be imperishable. You will lose all your friends, but you will have glory **.** I watched this one on the internet, and when Panam realizes you care for glory more than her, begs you to leave with her, and you get in that AV instead, it’s so sad to watch. 

The third and fourth stanzas I think reference the Star. You leave the city and return home, losing your glory, but you will live. V’s last words in the game are even ‘We’re goin’ home’. I think it's especially powerful for a Nomad V, going back to the badlands, but it works for any of them. Preem storytelling, CDPR. 

I really didn’t expect a love story in this game at all, I figured the in-game relationships would be basically joytoys, or maybe on the same level as romances in other games, so not particularly great. I certainly didn’t expect to come out of the game having a new understanding for how important love and relationships are in my life. Mike Pondsmith, who created the Cyberpunk universe the game is based in, said something along the lines of ‘you can’t save the world, but you should be able to save yourself, and those close to you.’ I think the game conveyed that well - the world in Cyberpunk is terrible and depressing, but your relationships are what matters. The Star ending really nailed that, which is why I wanted to continue it. When I eventually do replay the game, I will pick Nomad Male V and do the Star ending agin, I can’t do any of the other ones. 

And finally, I have had some questions about a sequel to this work. I do have some ideas, but I’d want to do it as more of a cyberpunk/sci-fi adventure following the Aldecaldos during the Stormtech/Arasaka conflict, instead of the emotional love story this work was. This work was a romance first and sci-fi/cyberpunk second, and I’d like to do a cyberpunk story with romance in the background if I end up continuing this. I’d probably expand more on Mike’s idea of not saving the world, instead you’d save those around you. Panam and V will still be together of course, but I would focus more on having them deal with the brutality of the cyberpunk world together. This would have a lot more action as well, and I’d like to expand on the whole biotech thing. 

Here are a few (rough) paragraphs from the potential sequel to the Star, to give you an idea of the direction I’d take something like this. I still need to storyboard the whole work, so will be awhile before I release anything from it. 

* * *

Chicago, 2083 

V’s breath was heavy in his chest as he struggled to breathe through his nano mask. Panam, Mitch and Dakota weren’t doing any better. They were struggling to keep up with the slim man in front of them, who didn’t seem to have any trouble at all moving among the tunnels under the ruins of Chicago. V didn’t know the man’s name, only that Stormtech had sent him, Panam, Dakota and Mitch here, after some guy called Thaumaturge, who was supposed to lead them to Stormtech’s old HQ. 

Talk about a mysterious man. This guy had been waiting for them as soon as their AV landed, he’d just appeared out of one of the tunnels, didn’t make a sound. He was unnerving to look at. Thaumaturge had red cybernetic eyes, and no nose or mouth. In their place, he had a permanently installed Stormtech nanomask. His legs were both dirty silver, and he had one metallic hand, also well worn. In his organic hand, he had a smart pistol. V didn’t know what was under his dirty brown shirt, and pants, probably better not to know. Guy was quiet too, only ever spoke one or two words at a time. 

“Quickly! Follow me!” Thaumaturge’s voice echoed back down the tunnel towards the Aldecaldos. His voice, distorted by his permanent gas mask and the tunnel’s echo, sounded almost supernatural. 

From this distance, all V could make out of him was his red eyes, occasionally obscured by the dust in the tunnel. Fuck, this was a long ways from the desert. 

V picked up his pace, stumbled and almost fell when he felt a strong hand catch him. 

Panam’s voice came through her nano mask. “I got you V.” 

* * *

If you’d want to read something like this let me know, either on reddit (/u/Naglafar) or here in the comments. 

Now though, listen to this sweet lofi version of Johnny Silverhand playing the song from the nomad camp (its actually Pon Pon Shit) [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Poxi4cNMJVg ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Poxi4cNMJVg) , and think about Panam and V, sitting on the steps of the Independent California Motel, looking at the stars, their love for each other never fading away. Johnny’d be proud of them, I’m sure. 

Thanks again for reading everyone! 


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